Fashion Disasters – First Edition

Every month I update a series of monthly humor themes. Those that received the most likes and comments I continue to supply new material.  I scour the internet for inspiration and I realized there is an endless supply for fashion disasters.

Did you know there was a fashion disaster day?  This day is for intentional fashion faux pas.  It’s actually fun until you are photographed at Walmart.

FashionDisasterSilly

However, there are people who take fashion really, really serious and would slap you harder than General George Patton with a silk glove if you speak ill of their creations.  For instance, what in the world of Milan was the purpose of this next fashion creation?

fashion-disasters-02

I love the look on the models face.  I imagine she’s a Swedish model and she asks, “You veally vant me to valk on zee stage vith this zhoo on my head?”  It’s about the new Rhino inspired collection.

Then we have the challenging issue in this day and age with regards to matching outfits for themed based proms.

FashionDisaster1

Eye of Sauron Prom

Welcome to the Eye of Sauron prom – Arlene and Flippy.

If you need comic relief offer, no, beg to be a prom chaperone.  You are guaranteed a good snicker or two. Shazaam!!

FashionProm1

Linda Lite Brite
and
Sponge Thunder Bob

Now the next photo, I must forewarn everyone in advance.  This was on one of my lady friends Facebook post.  Just when you think you have seen everything in your life, someone surprises you.  If you are easily grossed out do not proceed down the page.  I beg of you.

Here’s a little hint.  My wife and I were in Honolulu on Waikiki Beach in 1986.  On that beach were Europeans in speedos and bikinis. Now I know this sounds harmless until I further explain that the Europeans were old, wrinkly, overweight and gosh darn it, just not very appealing to the eye or stomach. So, go no further.

Don’t say I didn’t forewarn you!

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You don’t listen well at home do you?

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Have a bicarbonate ready.

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What are you, a masochist?

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You may go blind. No, you will go blind.

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The curiosity is killing you, isn’t it?

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And now for something completely different!

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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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Four score and seven years ago.

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I’m doubly warning you!!

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Have your trashcan nearby

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Feast your eyes on this bad boy!

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GagString

The Gag String
I Warned You!

I have no idea who created this fashion disaster. Were men jealous women had G-String bikinis? Was this taken at some partially nude resort?  Why bother?  Do fashionistas stop this guy and go on and on about his color choices?  I thought my post on Man Flags was so far out in left field, but now I realize if you can imagine it, someone will design it.  My wife wants me to retire to Hawaii.  If this is the scenery I can expect, then Barrow Alaska is looking more promising.

I have said all along that the human race is absurd and thankfully so.  We will never run out of issues to write and regurgitate over.  Have a great weekend.  What!  I warned you several times.

What fashion disaster have you seen lately and did you take a photo?

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For the Love of my Daughter

Fashion

My daughter believes my blog needs a little less dash of bacon and more dashes of fashion.  She gave me this photo and challenged me to write something humorous about it.  Where can I possibly start?  For once I was almost speechless, well, fingerless since this is a blog.  I think this was PhotoShopped, PhotoHijacked, or something. Well, for the love of my daughter here is my best attempt at fashion humor.

Zis is Eduardo Hancho Pancho Gerard Bove reporting live from zee Milan Fazhion unz Munzter Truckz Zhow.  Today we have zum unique fazhionz to dizplay to zee wurld – Yaz! Oh my wurdz, hold zee phonzee, here’s come zee muzt unzeexpected entry zis yur. (Okay enough of the Mexican Austrian French accent – it isn’t working for me.)

Surely Shirley the Wookie wouldn’t be caught dead on the streets of ole Gay Paris with this outfit.  I mean really, look at those knobby knees, puhleeeze!  And that terribly silly ball bag, look at the color clash with her Romanesque style sandals.  Besides, you lay down the bag and it rolls away. Designers these days!

And that dress! Gag me with a forklift, it looks like a beat down Idaho potato sack bag from Caddy Shack running away on the runway.  Even Cat’s won’t tolerate this on their catwalk.

CatWalk

Caddy Shack Cat Attack on Tacky Catwalk
of
Tacky Model Hack in Caddy Shack Idaho Potato Sack

See, I paid attention to Dr. Seuss’ therapy sessions – “I like green eggs and ham,” said Sam I am.  Yet, I digress as usual.  Dr. Seuss said I had ODD.

Finally look at the horrible necklace, she might as well use it as a noose, or binding for the hay on the farm.  Other than that, that’s my fashionista’s best review. Oh the face, the scalp and the beard – I’m so sorry. I just noticed it was aunt Mabel Sue from Arkansas.  Hi aunt Mabel Sue, hi!  Why is she running back? She didn’t even notice me, that unfriendly hussy.  Besides she has no fashion sense.

Only yours truly, Eduardo Hancho Pancho Gerard Bove has any fashion common sense.  Here’s  a taste of the fashion styles for 2013.

Eduardo Hancho Pancho

Christmas Collection

And for common sense home attire:

At Home Collection

Casual Home Collection

Finally, for the sporty types:

Sports Fashion Collection

Sports Fashion Collection

Is that funny enough my loving daughter?  What? You say you want a name change and to be put up for adoption!  But you are 25 years old my darling sweet pea.

Well that shut her up.

Anz thiz iz Eduardo Hancho Pancho Gerard Bove zaying zo long from zee Milan Fazhion unz Munzter Truckz Zhow – Yaz! Zzzzzzzzzzz