Just Chillin

Chillin

Whoever said, “like father like son,” was a genius.  Except now it is like grandfather, like father, like son.  Here is a weekend photo of the Greenlee men just chillin out, as my son would say, on a hot Saturday afternoon.  My generation might call it hanging out or hanging loose.  Who knows what my grandson will call it, but this is as priceless a generational picture as one could take.  My daughter took this photo with her Canon EOS Rebel T3i.  If she wanted to be, she could become a photographer, she’s got talent.

The weekend before the water was too cool and our grandson decided to anoint our bed when his dad allowed him to go Full Monty just a little too long between diaper changes.   That’s okay, I did the same with my son, in fact, one time as I was acting like all witless father’s do and while cooing my son, I was anointed in the face – like grandfather, like father, like son.

My readers need to put on Ray Ban sunglasses to keep from going blind, because we are three of the whitest white men you will ever see .  I am so pale  that my  grandson had to put on his Baby Ban sports shades.  Now, is that a hip grandchild or what?  Now notice the genetic inclination to place our right hands behind our necks? Like grandfather, like father, like son.  And how about that float?  Top class, eh?  It’s part of the grandparent oath to spoil their grandchild rotten.  One day he’ll ask daddy for a BMW and when he says no, I’ll remind my son of the floatie his grandpappy bought for him.  Am I rotten or what?

As one gets older we refer back to photos such as these.  One day I’ll be much older.  My son will be in the prime of his career and my grandson will be chasing some  young pretty lady.  They won’t have much time on their busy schedules (sniff, sniff) for poor old papa. A tear will come to my eyes about the days the Greenlee men trio were just chillin and grillin together.  Then I will pull out this photo and show to my grandson’s girlfriend,

Chillin2

My mother always said you need to live long enough to become a burden on your children and grandchildren.  I’ve decided to start early and embarrass him now – in front of my world wide audience. He’ll be so embarrassed he’ll become a monk and save himself much grief later on.  Oh by the way, he doesn’t have to pay any fees into the man club – there’s a nepotism clause.

Hey – just chill out!  I didn’t go the Full Monty with him.  That’s later!

Today, please love a child, a grandchild or any child who looks like they just need someone to smile at them.  They are precious gifts that supply lifelong unforgettable memories, laughs and smiles.

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Coffee Chaos – May 2013 Edition (Children)

Coffee Chaos The Monthly Journal

Coffee Chaos
The Monthly Journal

We have been watching our grandson while our daughter-in-law continues in Dental School.  She will be responsible for taking care of the chaos in my mouth for the remainder of my life.  Part of that chaos is surely attributable to my love of coffee.  For a very long time neither of my children liked coffee.  As a matter of fact, they thought my wife and I were crazy.  Well we are, but that is beside the point.  Now that they are both adults, they have learned to love coffee.  My daughter who is 25 and SINGLE is going to dental hygiene school.  Between her and my daughter-in-law, my mouth should be well taken care of.

However, they are now loving my Colombian Supremo beans a little too much.  My son stops by each morning to drop off my grandson and has a large cup as we discuss the daily drudgery of being accountants.  I now know why they call us bean counters, because I am starting to count the depletion of my Colombian Supremo bean inventory with great angst and anxiety. We are now up to three pots in the morning and our commercial coffee grinder is being put to the test and depreciating rapidly.  We are already on a monthly shipment of the beans from Coffee for Less. I hope they see I’m a good referral source and ship one free 100 pound bag to me this month.  One can hope right? Then my daughter now has her own Keurig machine, but still consumes MY supply.

Now I love my kids, but they are making me draw the line. Kids or beans, beans or kids?  Whoever said children are a blessing should have their beans removed for a month. Then let’s see how they truly feel?  It’s enough to make a parent become a closet coffee addict and hide from the children coffee conspiracy.  Now our time of watching our grandson ends this next week and my supply of beans will stop depleting as rapidly.  My son will have to find his caffeine fix somewhere else.

This leaves me only with the issue of my daughter.  If there are any rich doctors, dentists or computer engineers seeking a beautiful, fun loving, and intelligent soul mate – puhleeeeze reply to this post. I’m taking applications and interviews for a son-in-law. Those with saggy pants need not apply. Attach photos of your coffee accessories and bean supply. I will make exception for Starbucks franchise owners or employees of Coffee for Less.  I’ll even throw in the 100 pounds of beans Coffee for Less ships me as her dowry.

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Are you reading this Coffee for Less?  Geez, gratitude for shameless promotion is so hard to find these days. Oh the chaos that coffee brings to world.  Yes I am very shameless, but hey, every bean counts.

What madness has coffee brought to your family?

The Female Code – May 2013 Edition (The Girls)

Girls Night Out All Three of Them

Girls Night Out
All Three of Them

I follow many people’s blogs.  They provide insight to people’s thinking or sense of humor. They provide me with inspiration.  I especially love reading those written by women, because even after 53 years of life I still haven’t a clue what makes them tick and then explode.  Well, one blogger I follow lets out more code detail than most.    This blog is titled:

Lady or Not

Now I must forewarn many of my readers who might be offended by sometimes raunchy humor. I learn about a different aspect of female humor (if such a thing truly exists) from Becca.  I learned that she has a variety of methods of referring to her breasts.  Using Monty Python humor, she refers to them as huge tracts of land. She calls them legends. Recently she referred to them as “The Girls.”  This latter anatomical reference intrigued me the most.

We men are often teased mercilessly as having an overriding brain.  Then it hit me.  Women are impossible to understand because they have three brains to contend with.  Becca provided me proof.  She unleashed a secret of the female code that I am now sharing with the male universe.  The girls are not getting enough respect.  This is why we should name them.  Yes, name them.  This way we can sing happy birthday to them, or say hello to them in the morning.  They are screaming to be showered with dressy fashions and most of all support, literally. This why Victoria’s Secret has a diamond studded bra, because diamonds are boobs best friend. Becca proved that nothing is more important to women than having firm girls.  But what names would be most appropriate?

  1. Betty and Boop
  2. Bobbie and Bobble
  3. Flauntsome and Flopsome
  4. Bella and Edward (At least one of the girls will sparkle in the sunlight)
  5. Blackout and Blackeye
  6. Silicone and Saline

What? You don’t like #4 above.  Well go mope with your girls through June, July, August, September, October, November…… Clever writing, eh?

Well now that the secret is out, I expect other clever writers and readers to join in the Naming Games – a soon to be major motion adventure film, based on this blog premise.  Watch as Madam Monica Mayhem, uses her secret girl weapons, Bombo and Jumbo, to combat evil.  However, during casting it was discovered some actresses while running at full speed can only be a danger to themselves, this is where #5 comes from.  There is nothing worse than talking to a woman with a booby black eye, or providing resuscitation from a booby blackout.  This is why support is extremely important.

Absurd you say?  Of course it is.  That’s the point.  We tend to spend more time worrying about external appearances than inner beauty. Many well endowed women I have known have said their  girls have been a burden and a pain. Some have had them decreased or said adios to entirely. But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh about our experiences and ourselves.  I start each day by laughing at myself in the mirror as I say good morning to my man breasts, Tom and Jerry.

Besides, one day when the girls are older, much older, they will have to be renamed – Right Knee and Left Knee.

Now for a sing along:

Happy Birthday to Becca!

Happy Birthday to Betty!

Happy Birthday to Boop!

Happy Birthday,

Happy Birthday,

Happy Birthday to the Girls

Now please go smile today and allow yourself to commit one simple act of kindness. Please support your fellow boobs (people) as we all need support.