Mon Mothball De Granny


Today, as usual I got side tracked on Facebook regarding a discussion on lady’s perfumes.  One of my new friends commented that she was an addict for perfume and she was getting some of the original Bill Blass.  From there it went downhill very quickly due to yours truly.  Soon I will have no friends and my addiction to Facebook will end.  It is my evil plot.  I commented that it is good not to get a Bill Blass clone, they must smell.

Then a gentleman entered the conversation and stated Chanel #5 was his favorite.  Soon a real perfume connoisseur shouted out names I’ve never heard, such as Feraud for Women, but also Bvlgari Rose Essentielle, Burberry Brit for Women, Juicy Couture, and Cabotine de Gres.  I realized at that moment I was dealing with the elite.  So what was my contribution to this elite conversation?

“I bought my wife this one named AMBUSH.”

You see, all those above remind me of an aged blue cheese, not something I’d like to chase after with amorous exuberance.  It’s all in the wording for me.  If they had a perfume with “Bacon” in the wording, I’d come running like a hound dog in heat and on the scent.  I’d be burrowing down into my wife’s neck like a sparkling vampire. Oh, TMI.

Then the male commenter stated one lady should try Fendi.  I was out of my league, I freely admit it.  But the undaunted creative writer in me would not let this pass.  Visions of new creative perfume brands came to my mind, here’s the short list:

  • ActivOn No. 1 (Massage therapist sold separately)
  • IcyHotness No. 2
  • Shades De Grey No. 50 (complete with complimentary whip and chains)
  • Compost Le Couture (An earth wormy bouquet)
  • La Canadian Bacon de Grease (My personal favorite)

Somehow the conservation turned to old granny’s smelling like Vick’s vapor rub, or even worse mothballs.  This is where my opportunity presented itself.  I asked the person if they had ever smelled Mothballs.  Not knowing where I was leading her, she replied her granny’s house was Mothball city.  Being one of the oldest jokes my mother loves to pull on people I asked, “How did you get their little legs apart?”  She did not reply, I think I stunned her.  Amazingly I was not removed from her friends list in a nanosecond.

Another lady joined in and wrote about her grandmothers bedroom smelling so bad of mothballs and that if you slept in her bed you couldn’t move for all the quilts she had stacked up.  Does this sound familiar my loyal followers?  Refer back to my Female Code – October 2012 Edition. I’ll have see if my wife’s Doomsday inventory of quilts are starting to smell like Mothball City, Oklahoma.

As a CPA, financial planner, author, soon to be real estate agent, and all around nutcase, I am always looking to expand upon profit making ideas and products.  I’ve listed 5 products above I may offer in 2013, provided we survive tomorrows Mayan calendar prophecy.  I am considering adding Mon Mothball de Granny to my offerings.  Who will be the first to order?

Do you have a perfume idea that you think would sell?  Tell me what it is and I’ll develop it for you.  After R&D, marketing, and distribution expenses; my royalty and executive compensation package, I can promise you a 1/1,000% royalty, of remaining profits.  Sounds fair doesn’t it?  Submit your ideas today, today, today (echo sound).