Of Rape

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I am about to dig deep into a thought no one should ever have to delve into, and that is rape.  Over the course of the last month we have had two shows depicting rape that have unsettled viewers:  one from Game of Thrones and the other from Outlander.  Now I am not going to criticize either show, because I have not seen them, nor do I really care to, details are not necessary for me as a reader, viewer or a writer. I believe in leaving some details to the imagination of the reader. Far more important on the subject of rape is its weaving into the story as a whole for a purpose.  So why am I delving into this now?

Back in 2010 I released the first three stories on my planned nineteen story mythology.  This trilogy can stand on its own and provides an exciting and moving story. When completed my readers suggested they didn’t want it to end, so I interjected a thought on the continuation of the story, but from a much different perspective.  The premise, only disclosed to my beta readers had them excited, but now I have to deliver as a writer.

In 2013, I began to write the next series of nine stories dealing with the fall of entire worlds.  Now watching Game of Thrones, you have an idea of a world in complete chaos, where everyone dies, good or bad.  However, my stories deal with both sides of good and evil, and interjects a creator and fallen immortals. There is the darkness and there is the light.  So why destroy worlds and all its inhabitants?  For salacious entertainment, or entertaining thoughts deep into our very nature of being, faith, and why bad things happen to good people.  Remember I am weaving a story, not a religion or doctrine.

In the first story of these nine in the next series I deal with the fall of a young man through the direct influence of evil.  In his madness, he mistakes an innocent young woman as the love who spurned him, and he holds her prisoner and rapes her.  I do not go into detail.  I care not to.  I only use the word “defile” to lead the reader to the evil act.  Surely somewhere in your life you’ve seen or read about rape, will repeating it over again make it any less vile or more entertaining?  This why I chose not to go into detail. Use your imagination if you must, but concentrate on how the rape affects the young woman.

Even in the moment of her despair, the heroine has to rise to the aid and protection of very young children also taken prisoner, not to be raped, just that the young man’s insanity believes them to be his own children.  Upon her rescue she has to deal with the issue of her rape.  Is she pregnant, does she want to live, did she contribute to her rape or did others, will another man ever love her again? Unique to my story is that this is the first living being having to deal with the first moral dilemma.  The young man has to deal with the first moral judgement.  In the middle, is an immortal about to fall from grace from his meddling in mortal affairs, and he watches carefully over the emotions and frailties of the creators beloved mortals.

As a man, this section of my story is difficult to express in the narrative. Do I linger too long on her emotions, or move quickly away from it? Currently I am at 160,000 words, my largest work to date. What I chose to do was not focus on the destruction of the woman’s virtue and innocence, but the ability to rise above it and continue to live and love.  So without going into too much detail the heroine of this story has to deal with tragedy twice for the ending cannot be good if it is the fall of a world.

Or will it be all bad?  As a writer I plan to have certain themes in each story with little hints of upcoming events that will occur in the future stories.  If you have read the trilogy, then you know the ending, but you don’t know the whole journey, for it is still developing in my mind.

The first book in my trilogy was titled, “Rise of the Fallen” and had a dual meaning. For as darkness is rising, so is the light, wherever evil appears it is counter-balanced by good. And this thought should provide comfort.

Sound off, what story have you read that tastefully deals with the topic of rape, and introduces a heroine not succumbed by the act?


A Call to all Women


Damn You Lilith

This is a call, like the lighting of a beacon, for the response of as many women as possible.  I am an author and a man, a manly man.  I don’t have hidden feminine traits.  Therefore, you might consider me an old fashioned Rhett Butler type.  I write about heroes and heroines as I would like to see them.  Right now I am on the 5th book of a 19 story mythology.  This current story deals with the fall of a world by an evil queen, who wasn’t always evil.  As I discussed the plot with my editor (my wife) she mentioned that she hoped I would try to explain why women can be, well, so petty.  As a manly man in search of the great mysteries in life, frankly my dear I haven’t a damn clue.

So, with this in mind, this story has to do with two queens, one who is targeted by evil for her shortcomings, her vices.  If you have ever studied the seven deadly sins you know that you can probably pinpoint any human failing from one or more of those deadly vices.  Haggarfuse the Deceiver, an immortal bent on rebellion, is well aware of these vices now from observation of the fall of the first heavenly world of Helloria (book 4 in edit phase).  He is now on a mission to use these mortal weaknesses to create the most evil queen ever and I mean ever, to destroy the world of Europia.  This is a story I have been drooling over for at least three years to write.  What things have modern women seen that even they despise in their own sex?  This is where you ladies can come to my aid.  You can even respond anonymously.  I can write my perspective as a man and frankly my dears, be shot down as a sexist pig.  So remove the male perspective and hit your own sex with your best shot.

In my image above I refer to Lilith [Read more in this link] as one of my inspirations to this evil queen.  In some legends Lilith was the first wife of Adam.  Yes, that’s right.  Adam was divorcee, so to speak.  Lilith would not submit to Adam and was cast out of Eden to become the first succubus [Read more in this link]   She even mated with the archangel Samael (talk about juicy material?)Some legends even state she invades infant cribs to rob the breath of infants, as her revenge against Eve. Therefore women chanted a lullaby to protect their infants from Lilith who became a demon.

This is just one source of original evilness that is going to relentlessly attack and destroy an innocent female child and subsequently the world she is a part of.  Don’t be dismayed there is also a good queen in the story, although it must be a tragedy, it will end on a positive note.  Queen Maggith is the lead evil character, a name I derived from a combination of Maggot and Lilith.  Unfortunately, a friend of mine from Corpus Christi wanted to be in one of my books, so I made her the good queen Tamylla, and then her friend Maggie also wanted to be in one.  Well Maggie, sorry, but you drew the last straw.  Please don’t hate me forever. Maggith is going to be terrible, every woman on earth is going to hate her.

For those of you ladies who may not know these vices here are the seven deadly sins:

  1. Pride – considered the highest sin of all.
  2. Lust – a definite theme in this story
  3. Greed
  4. Envy – what can I say!
  5. Gluttony
  6. Sloth
  7. Wrath – hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (one of my chief themes in this story)

So, place on your thinking tiara or crown, and tell me what characteristics you think would make the most awesome evil queen ever.  What causes women to be petty?  Thanks for being a good sport too.

The Fall of Helloria Prologue – Spoiler Alert

AllivarChroniclesRiseofEvilI am not a fan of prologues.  As an author I want a story to unfold and the reader to grow into the story.  However I understand their purpose to assist readers in a purchasing decision.  Below is the first draft of the prologue for the upcoming release of the 4th book of my 19 story mythology.  It is my hope to have this book released no later than July of this year.  We are in editing phase and then onto eBook conversion.  The title of this fourth story is the Fall of Helloria, the first chronicle of Allivar.  Many readers of my trilogy stated they wished the story never ended.  So I purposely crafted in the trilogy the possibility of a line of stories that brought to perspective a different viewpoint which can only be understood by grasping the complexity of the trilogy.


In the trilogy I gave a compressed history of the falling of nine heavenly worlds and of six ages of history before the main character was introduced.  This chronicle and the next fifteen will go into the telling of the nine tragedies and the six ages of defiance on Allivar.  These stories are of the heroes and heroines of those world and ages, the origin of monsters, and the plots and rebellion of the forces of evil.  Those that read the trilogy know the armies of the seven races appeared on the last day of battle and that the Unseen also unleashed the armies of light.  These stories are about their perspective up to the moment when they arrive in the final  battle of good and evil.  In the trilogy I left hints and clues about them.  Now you will know the full story.

Let the journey begin, again.

Melin awoke in complete darkness, frightened and in severe pain. She could taste the thick steely blood on her lip and the smell of death in the air. At first she had to clear her mind and think back how the best day of her life had become this nightmare. One moment she was the talk of Peartown – she wore a lovely new tunic and was turning the heads of eligible young men. One man of a prominent family was even eager to introduce his son. She had come of age and was more alive than ever. All she dreamed about seemed within touch. Now, she sat silent and still for fear of what would happen next. Above her was a monster and he had taken children in his delusional state and in that darkness they called for rescue. Her mothering instincts came to life and she vowed she would not let evil harm them again. She went from fear to defiance.

Above in the daylight was the young man Gahar, once shunned by his father for the unjust cause of his mother’s death at his birth and then shunned again unjustly by the one he had loved all his life, Sondria. After a long struggle in his mind between good and evil, he succumbed to the darkness, for Haggarfuse, the immortal steward of Helloria, promised him all his desires – immortality and power. He was now the monster Melin feared, fallen and separated forever from the light of life and love. For his perceived torture, he now set upon the path of destruction against all for the source of his pain – all living mortals. Here in this world his path of vengeance began.


     I am Arimar, the Chosen One of Allivar and you know of my story, but there are stories of worlds and ancient times that must now be told and never be forgotten. Our future is not yet certain and all depends on what we learn from our history. Come now and take your seat for the telling of the first tragedy of the heavens is about to begin. This is the chronicle of Helloria, the first fallen world, where by evil’s influence the lives of a young man and woman shall cross and the first battle of the heavens shall rise.

     Do not fool yourselves, this story does not have a happy ending, yet where there is tragedy, there is also hope. One shall exit darkness to enter the light and be protected forever. The other will be separated from the light and enter an eternal darkness. Here on Helloria the first mortal judgment has taken place and the battle of good and evil both in the living and ethereal realms begins, with consequences that will span millennium and the heavens. Here on Allivar is where the fate of all the forces of good and evil collided for a final confrontation. Now you shall know the entire story of the rise of evil and its rebellion against the heavens… and the gathering and defiance of the good armies of light.

Well, what do you think?  Are you eager to return to Allivar?

The Value of Time


“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” —Mark Twain

My wife posted this quote today on her Facebook page. As usual it stoke the fires of my imagination of the time I have left in life,  and of the stories that I will finish before my life lapses. From this quote I created my own that will appear in my current mythological story, the fourth of nineteen.

“There is nothing more of value to the mortal than time, and time well spent. All possessions, accomplishments and domination over others ultimately falls into a never ending darkness and sorrow.” 

Stop and think about this for one second. When the twin towers of 9/11 fell, all those that lost loved ones would most likely sacrifice all the worldly possessions for more time with those they lost. We rush to build another tower to replace the two fallen and in the new tower of steel and glass we pour our memory of the fallen and pride against our enemies. What if they should fall again? We live in very dangerous times where a new sickness is taking hold, yet we refuse to see.

In the song, Dust in the Wind by Kansas, there is a simple lyric that rings true, “All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see.”

This is then followed by,Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. It slips away, and all your money won’t another minute buy.”

To some this is a depressing song.  To me it is as inspiring as the quote by Mark Twain.  As Gandalf might say, the world is out there, it is not in the books, maps, video games, smartphone apps, homes, cars and other worldly possessions. When did we sacrifice reality for virtual reality? Central to theme of my mythology is the difference between the worlds of the mortal and immortal. Tolkien in the Silmarillion stated the mortals were given a gift.  That gift is knowing the fleeting nature of life and how every moment should not be wasted.

Should we work our entire adulthood merely resigned to the comfort of a padded retirement account where a large portion may pass to the next generation?  How much does happiness cost?  Would you trade all your possessions for one opportunity to live on a beach, to hear the never ending sound of the crashing of waves, and the sensation of warm salt water and sand rushing through your toes?  What would you trade to have the sight of tropical vegetation appear before you year round?  What is the value of trade winds blowing through your home and to have no wrestling with the A/C, and then waiting for the late afternoon shower of rain that cools the air and replenishes the ground?  This is what calls out to my soul.

Most people I know are still in the career aspect of their lives.  Many have passed from disease and heart failure.  They enjoy going to loud basketball games or enjoy cocktails at loud restaurants.  Me?  To each his own, but for me I am recharging the mind and body for the final days of discovery.  I want no time wasted, no regrets, no sorrow for the time I was given.  Should I die in my early sixties from a rambunctious journey of rediscovery, then so be it.  Sitting around watching the 24 hour news cycle in anticipation of evil’s next move, arguing over the lies of politicians, playing video games, watching videos on the smartphone is a waste of my valuable and limited time. So is the need to experience an altered world through alcohol or drug abuse. When I am physically unable to enjoy the natural world, created for enjoyment and discovery, then I will have all the time in the world to finally reread the classics, write more books and rediscover the artist in me.

For 33 years I have dedicated the entirety of my soul to being the best professional I can be.  At the height of that, I thought I had made it to the top of my ladder, only to discover, there is so much more on the other side of  The Wall (Another Kansas Lyrical Classic.)  The value of mortal time became apparent to me.  The photo above is of me and my son when we took time and went caving.  This venture of discovery cost a whopping $8.  With us were my son’s future brother and sister in-laws, and his future wife.  To me, this was a priceless moment, one memory that cannot be destroyed by the vain attempts of man, but only the passing of this mortal life. Somehow I will find a way to include the following thoughts into my stories.


We ventured into the darkness, not knowing if we should encounter danger or the end of our time, yet our souls ached for the discovery. In the darkness we were fully aware of our other often disregarded senses. Yet, even though some fear ran through the course of our veins, life followed behind fear, like an army overrunning the enemy, until fear had been defeated and we stood yet again before the light. And in the light we rejoiced for the moments that had just passed, wishing time had marched to a slower beat.  We were united as one in our simple quest. At the moment light returned to me, I realized I was truly alive and that true happiness surrounded me.  It is our mortal nature to cherish these moments and to set out on the next great adventure, for time knows not, nor cares for your future desires.

I am Beloth

I am the greatest military general in the service of the seventh king of Allivar.  My name is cursed by my race, the Vanavaran, the black skinned fishermen of the world of Allivar. Should I appear to them this day, they would behead me. for they have suffered like no other of the races.  It is because of our skin that an unwarranted fear exists. We are not evil, yet in the service of the king, I carry out his oppression, for the king fears the rise of the fallen races.

Into the city of the line of kings Yubal, comes the man named Arimar – the foretold messenger of freedom. Can he give me the freedom I seek?  Can he restore me, make me whole and loved by my own race again?  Can he free my race of the fear the other races have of our black skin? I fear he can do none of these, yet with each moment I witness his actions, he surprises me and I am compelled to follow him. He has survived the king’s giant champion, Ergon, in the coliseum and crumbled the place generations of “Blood Run” into the sea.  He has freed the enslaved from the combs and healed their diseases and hearts. He has ordered me to place a small droplet of water into the cursed river and it is healed.  I do believe now, and I will be his captain, and soon he will convince the king.  I am now a freed man, the air smells different on this day, and for how long I do not care, for we are bound to the forbidden lands, the Marog, and there with the help of my protege, Murlach, all our skills in the art of war will be tested.

After all that we have been through fighting the evil of the Marog I find myself in the midst of my people.  It is at that moment they realize I am the long lost seventh son of the steward, and my birth name is Zulaf. I have been forgiven and accepted into the arms of my father and family. I will finish my journey with Arimar to his homeland and from there I hope complete freedom, will be mine.  We learn of the coming seven armies of king Yubal and the unleashing of the Marog, all has been unbound against us, and in six months time we must construct our defenses with a five mile long trench and wall. I will train all the followers, all the races, the  women and the children to fight to the death and whatever end may come. Here we shall make the last stand of the living.

I shall set aside my birth name of peace and carry the name that once brought fear to this world, I am Beloth.


I am Haggarfuse

I am the eight Charafuse, or guardian of the light, steward of the mortal world of Helloria. I was created and given charge to watch over mortals, a task I was given no choice, no free will to decide.  Yet the mortals are given the will to decide their own fate.  They are weak and doomed to death. How would these mortals fare with the intervention of evil? It is my challenge to the creator. A wager that he has accepted, with conditions.  He foretells of the coming of his chosen one, who will one day decide the fate of all.  A mortal from the Nephilliad race, one from the seventh line of prophets.  Due to my neglect of Helloria, all there perish under my guidance by the fallen mortal Gahar.  And for that fall of one of his heavenly worlds, the Unseen damns me to the horrid sight of a Charamorg. I am now a guardian of the dead and damned. I will be the destroyer of worlds. I am the first fallen Charafuse, but I shall rise and one by one I will set into motion the fall of  the ten heavenly worlds, with Allivar being the last.  I will toy with these mortal pawns and subject them to a life of slavery and torment.  The day has come and the one foretold is born, Arimar is his name, and at first it will be rejoiced, and then that name will be cursed.  I cannot risk the rise of the fallen races. Now that he has set off, I will follow his every step.

With the help of friends of the seven races Arimar has eluded me. He now sets his task on converting King Yubal to a believer and freeing the enthralled. I have plans for him now, to give him hope and set them on a path, bound to forbidden lands, the Marog, where I will rise the other fallen Charamorgs to taking my side. There in the Marog they will see a taste of the forces of darkness, who too, have despised the mortals. And with assistance they will die in these lands. My power grows and soon I will have enough forces to seal the fate of Allivar forever.  Yet, I underestimated their resolve and to my dismay they escape the Marog, but I have one last surprise in wait.  They live! I have violated the Unseen’s conditions and now I must possess the souls of mortals to wage war upon those freed by this Arimar, this usurper to my power, and I will defeat them.

I have gathered the seven armies of mortals, and the dragons, the giants, the Charagrung and Gregoron of the Marog to wage the final war.  From across the lands my power emerges, four hundred million strong, and we march to the holy ground at Masara.  Upon our arrival we are met with a strong resistance, with a newly constructed rock wall, and new weapons of war.  I admire their bravery, but they will still fall. I cannot and I will not be stopped.  I will deal with their forces here first and then decimate the last of the free lands later.  For forty day and forty nights they have held us at a line, their stand strong as my wrath, but it is to be the last land of the living. Prepare to meet your maker Arimar and ask him why he allowed mortals to experience so much suffering and death.

I am Haggarfuse and I will not bow down to a mortal, even if the void of unforgiving darkness is my fate.


The Presence of Evil and the Absence of Goodness


We live in a period of history where belief in a benevolent creator is starting to fade.  Science, to some, has become the only solution to the questions.  We mourn this month the senseless attacks and killings of the very young and innocent, here in the USA and in China.  Where our nation and world is headed is up for debate. It is a debate that is needed and done with empathy and civility.  This last week my grandson was born. I did not realize how precious he was going to be in my life.  The events in China and Newton, CT reinforced my love for him and tore me apart for the families who have lost life’s most precious blessing. My wife and I wept openly. My grandson’s birth marks the beginning of the fifth generation in my life, from my great grandparents now to my grandson.  I have seen in this time frame the remarkable explosion in knowledge and technology.  I have listened to the stories of personal sacrifice and hardships during the Great Depression and of World War II, and the undaunted spirit to rise above all that was so very bad. Their time was a period of revival of spiritual beliefs.  Our parents never wanted us to experience that age of history.  They wanted better for us.

I was raised in a period of time where neighbors brought food into the center of the neighborhood to share their blessings and to know their neighbors.  I had a fantastic childhood and observed what community meant. Parents were allowed to discipline each others children for bad behavior, as were our teachers. We needed reinforcement what was acceptable and what was not. My parents stayed married to honor their sacred commitment to themselves, the witnesses at their wedding and yes, their creator. My values were formed during the 1960’s and 1970’s.  Now, I truly miss those times. Then something drastically and dramatically changed. Our sense of values were changed due to a long period of relative peace and economic growth.  One has only to read history that there are good times and bad times.  This has been repeated over and over again for thousands of years.

The 1980’s up to now brought about more violent movies, video games, music videos, and other media.  We now actually embrace evil. Villains are now heroes.  We now accept broken marriage and families as the norm, yet wonder why our youth are insecure, distrusting of their adult counterparts and have such low value in themselves and others. Much music in this world denigrates women, parents, law enforcement and yes people of spiritual belief. Yet, when evil acts happen we question how and why. We ask how a creator allows such bad things to exist or to happen?  Shouldn’t we be asking a different question?  How have we allowed the presence of evil to exist?

We shout that government must intervene in our everyday lives to some extent, and at other times we want them out of our lives completely.  We violate laws that tell us drugs are bad, because we justify the temporary relief of pain and reality they provide. If children are born with medical conditions, we don’t blame our addictions or habits, we blame a creator. If people are killed, we blame inanimate objects, whether they be guns or knives. Yet with other issues we want and plead for government interference to protect us. Does this sound familiar with how we view a creator? We wonder why he is not present at bad times, but the remainder of times we want that creator to stay out of our of lives.  Such is the issue of free will.  Would you want a creator that controls your life like a puppet?  I don’t think you would.

One of my favorite quotes of all times sums up much of my thinking,

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing.”

This quote is attributed to Edmund Burke, an Irish statesman, author, orator, political theorist and philosopher.  His most important publication in this regard was his Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents of 23 April 1770. In this he called out the over reaching power of government and the apathy of the citizenry to allow them to take control.  Whether you fear ethereal influences or governmental influences, you cannot relegate your personal responsibility.  What is the cause of our present discontents?

Yet, somewhere in all my years, this collective wisdom has been lost or challenged. Instead of simplicity and bliss, we have a life moving at a breakneck speed creating the disintegration of family, community, country and world. We no longer have time for one another. We would rather spend our free time hidden in a video game, a movie, or with virtual social interaction on smart phones. I see people more interested in themselves than in others. I read such vile commentary on news blogs.  There is no longer compromise, there is only headstrong opposition and stagnation.  We can’t resolve problems because people want someone else to pay for the solution. Money and possessions have become the object of our infatuation and identity.

Why does it take tragedy to awaken our senses and our souls? Evil can be described in many ways and the absence of empathy is just one. Try this today, look at your fellow man and know he too struggles with something in his life.  You can see it in peoples faces very plainly.  Offer a smile, a simple hello, or open a door to ease a burden.  Give a child or an elderly person a moment of your time, this is more precious to them than anything. Let them know they are important to you and the world. Demonstrate the presence of goodness.  It starts with you, not your creator or your government.

I contemplated back in the year 2000 where our world might be headed.  I wrote the Chosen One of Allivar trilogy as an allegory on those thoughts.  What is the meaning of life? What interferes with us having peace?  I am a man of spiritual convictions, yet I hold my beliefs to myself.  I have not been granted authority to judge or change the world. I believe in the presence of evil in our world. I would sacrifice myself at this very moment to defeat the presence of evil and end all the pain this world is experiencing. Yet, evil can reside in a man’s and society’s heart and will not be defeated in one generation.  It will take many.  Is this the meaning of life?  Are we placed here until we get it right?

I want the very best for my children and grandson. Yet I want them to understand the meaning of hard work, independence, self sufficiency, but to care for others of less fortune. Above all, I want them to understand the importance of family. My thoughts and my beliefs are embedded in the hero Arimar in my trilogy.  It is a story of humanity and of family. In this story children die. They are actually murdered.  Why?  Because we do not recognize the preciousness of life until it is taken from us.  If we were given a second chance at life, would we do anything different, or would we still display our apathy.

We need good men to do the right thing.  We need stories and actions of goodness.  We need love songs. We need heroes and heroines more than ever. We need to rise as one to raise the next generation.  If we do not, then defeat is our certainty, and this world, this paradise will be lost. This has always been the quest of evil, the very reason for its presence in this world. We are one family, regardless of our language and skin color. My first book in the trilogy is titled, “Rise of the Fallen.”   It is a play on words as the story chronicles the rise of evil and the fall of worlds.  Yet, it has a second meaning, which is the rise of fallen immortals to confront evil and to defeat its presence once and for all.  The fate of the final standing world is at stake.  What will be our fate?

I value the perspective and opinion of others, it is how I learn and have empathy for them. I respect the opinion of those of faith and those of no faith. I would love to read your honest, yet civil perspective.