2017 – A Year in Review



Yes, it’s another year, but what a year! Not only did I relocate from Hawaii to Florida, but I outran hurricane Irma and used my Christmas gift budget on teeth.  But enough about me, let’s digest what in the world happened to the world during the craziest year in my full 58 years of life.


Article after article suggest WWIII could break out in five different places like North Korea, the Persian Gulf, Ukraine, etc.  But I would add a sixth or seventh place of origin – TWITTER or FACEBOOK.  Is it just me but are people hurling more bombs in these anti-social media sites?

Government Corruption

Okay, no change here, moving along.


Actual Ignorance increased by astronomical amounts and is expected to be the eighth cause of WWIII.  Articles such as the thief who had to text the police to pull him out of a chimney, for a house he was about to rob.  Listen dude, get off the crack and stop watching Santa movies, it’s warping your mind more than mine.


Autonomous vehicles made the news more often, but if we head towards WWIII, it might be that it begins when we realize that you can only go 25 MPH.  This is when you take control to go 50 MPH and cutoff all other AV’s, when the AI (the other AI) can’t handle the computations.  I predict massive casualties and 100 million car pile-up.


Electric vehicles are all the rage now.  Here in Naples, FL I’ve actually seen Tesla recharging slots at a retail center with not one Tesla vehicle being recharged.  Of the 400,000 orders in place for the Model 3, the company was able to produce 262 in the third quarter.  That means in 1,526 quarters all orders will be filled.  I think that equates to 381 years.  Technology is so blindingly fast.  Don’t get me started on Windows 10.


I just made this acronym up so that I’d appear all cool and hip.  Talk among yourselves and be creative what it might stand for.

Star Wars 2017

Setting records big time, but did anyone ever question why there aren’t any ADS’s (Autonomous Death Stars) and why ES’s (Electric Starfighters) are not in use?  Not so futuristic after all, is it?  Why not just let AI take hold, grab yourself a seat with a huge bag of popcorn and supersized drum of pop to watch C3PO defeat AVEV3, or listen to Alexa take down Siri in an AI intellectual death match.

Social Media Brain Washing

We’ve been told that social media is now influencing our political thoughts and that we simply are not intelligent enough to discern a foreign government’s influence in the election process.  So wake up comrades and stop viewing all the puppy and kitten videos, wine memes, and messenger requests from “Inizzi Love” or “Igotta Love” – these are all communists indoctrination ploys.

The Other AI

You’ve been warned, the start of WWIII will begin when AI decides to takeover the world. That makes about a bakers dozen for reasons WWIII is coming.  From one report I read, Facebook had two AI engines that actually created their own language and had to be shut down.  I think they were ordering pizza on the company account.

Game of Thrones – Final Season

No matter what triggers WWIII, it will only happen until we see how the really narcissistic despot rulers deal with all the distrust and hatred. I’m sure it’s not going to be a series of Tweets.

Outlander Season 3

My wife, a fan of the books and shows, convinced me to watch with her.  I’ve liked almost everything up to the point where Claire returns to the past.  This is where my logical thinking couldn’t reconcile parts of the story.  It all moved a little too fast for me – from Scotland, to Jamaica, to Georgia in such a relatively little amount of time, with no assistance from Elon Musk.  I mean really, those portals were invented by him so that Claire could bring pizza back from the future, there’s no other explanation for having them if you are not going to use them, just like a Tesla recharging slot.  Then there’s the hurricane scene that just cropped up in a matter of minutes after the completion of hanky-panky.  They survive to get rest after the eye arrives, but what about the back side?  Ah ha!  I’ve survived Irma, without any pizza portals.  I’m sure season 4 will be about pizza portal franchises as a front for sedition.

But I digress.

Happy New Year

On a serious note, we do not know when the end will arrive, so live each day as it was your last.  Find time to laugh and find time to love, even if you’ve been through hell like James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser.  Please forgive digressions, like mine.  May your New Year be filled with prosperity and hope that one day we will evolve from AI without the aid of AI (The other AI).


Of Rape

Featured image

I am about to dig deep into a thought no one should ever have to delve into, and that is rape.  Over the course of the last month we have had two shows depicting rape that have unsettled viewers:  one from Game of Thrones and the other from Outlander.  Now I am not going to criticize either show, because I have not seen them, nor do I really care to, details are not necessary for me as a reader, viewer or a writer. I believe in leaving some details to the imagination of the reader. Far more important on the subject of rape is its weaving into the story as a whole for a purpose.  So why am I delving into this now?

Back in 2010 I released the first three stories on my planned nineteen story mythology.  This trilogy can stand on its own and provides an exciting and moving story. When completed my readers suggested they didn’t want it to end, so I interjected a thought on the continuation of the story, but from a much different perspective.  The premise, only disclosed to my beta readers had them excited, but now I have to deliver as a writer.

In 2013, I began to write the next series of nine stories dealing with the fall of entire worlds.  Now watching Game of Thrones, you have an idea of a world in complete chaos, where everyone dies, good or bad.  However, my stories deal with both sides of good and evil, and interjects a creator and fallen immortals. There is the darkness and there is the light.  So why destroy worlds and all its inhabitants?  For salacious entertainment, or entertaining thoughts deep into our very nature of being, faith, and why bad things happen to good people.  Remember I am weaving a story, not a religion or doctrine.

In the first story of these nine in the next series I deal with the fall of a young man through the direct influence of evil.  In his madness, he mistakes an innocent young woman as the love who spurned him, and he holds her prisoner and rapes her.  I do not go into detail.  I care not to.  I only use the word “defile” to lead the reader to the evil act.  Surely somewhere in your life you’ve seen or read about rape, will repeating it over again make it any less vile or more entertaining?  This why I chose not to go into detail. Use your imagination if you must, but concentrate on how the rape affects the young woman.

Even in the moment of her despair, the heroine has to rise to the aid and protection of very young children also taken prisoner, not to be raped, just that the young man’s insanity believes them to be his own children.  Upon her rescue she has to deal with the issue of her rape.  Is she pregnant, does she want to live, did she contribute to her rape or did others, will another man ever love her again? Unique to my story is that this is the first living being having to deal with the first moral dilemma.  The young man has to deal with the first moral judgement.  In the middle, is an immortal about to fall from grace from his meddling in mortal affairs, and he watches carefully over the emotions and frailties of the creators beloved mortals.

As a man, this section of my story is difficult to express in the narrative. Do I linger too long on her emotions, or move quickly away from it? Currently I am at 160,000 words, my largest work to date. What I chose to do was not focus on the destruction of the woman’s virtue and innocence, but the ability to rise above it and continue to live and love.  So without going into too much detail the heroine of this story has to deal with tragedy twice for the ending cannot be good if it is the fall of a world.

Or will it be all bad?  As a writer I plan to have certain themes in each story with little hints of upcoming events that will occur in the future stories.  If you have read the trilogy, then you know the ending, but you don’t know the whole journey, for it is still developing in my mind.

The first book in my trilogy was titled, “Rise of the Fallen” and had a dual meaning. For as darkness is rising, so is the light, wherever evil appears it is counter-balanced by good. And this thought should provide comfort.

Sound off, what story have you read that tastefully deals with the topic of rape, and introduces a heroine not succumbed by the act?



Since late 2011, I have been promoting my trilogy, The Chosen One of Allivar.  The story is a mythology which requires creation, life and end of times.  I’ve sold quite a few, but reviews and ratings have been very, very difficult to receive.  I’ve been told it is very good, but apparently posting a review is too difficult.  I have restrained myself from marketing it as a faith based story, because too many would never read it.  Chapter one in Rise of the Fallen starts out very similar to Genesis.  The tale of the fallen Charafuse (Angels) is very similar to that of the Satan story, and there are many inferences to stories in the Bible.  I did this for a marketing purpose, to bring familiarity to my story of the three Abrahamic religions of which there are more than a billion potential readers, nothing more.  What may appear as a religious story, is not. Here is a definition of religion:

Religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to the supernatural, and to spirituality.

Since we live in a period of history where mythologies, even with the slightest hint of a creator, is deemed religious by the secular society, I will then market the trilogy and the upcoming 16 chronicles stories as a series of stories of faith, hope and spirituality.  In the end, the story is about mankind’s ability to be proper stewards and provides thought on immortal life.  It revolves around free will, family, spouse, children, races, and even the animals.

In the year 1999, I was challenged by a friend to write a story centered around a creator as the source of good, rather than the benign references in many stories.  Stars Wars has the “Force”, Lord of the Rings had the power of the elves given to them by Eru (The One), and Narnia has Aslan the Lion who is a representation of Jesus.  Robert Jordan, the author of The Wheel of Time has a creation story very similar to Christianity. George RR Martin refers to the old and new gods.  Gods lay down laws and the expectations of their creations.

In the end, the story is one about faith in something greater than ourselves and how one man is chosen to deliver the enslaved and a message to all of the living. The words Chosen One, do not refer to Christ.  Christ was God incarnate.  My hero is a mere mortal, asked to rise to the greatest challenge of all – to unite the seven divided races and stand against evil, before there is nothing left but death, darkness and eternal silence.

You will notice many inferences to other mythologies such as King Arthur and that created by Tolkien.  You will see the influence of Dante’s Inferno and Milton’s Paradise Lost.  In its simplest of form it is derived from this popular quote:

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

It is spiritual, highly emotional and so very human of a story.  It is allegorical, it has meaning and a moral behind it.  Will we the living finally become the stewards we were meant to be?  This is the question and should challenge all those who have faith and hope that there is greatness in and after life.

So now I submit to all those who love stories of faith, whether it be Life of Pi, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Wheel of Time, or another story I have not yet read – take a chance on a timeless story of good and evil and faith in things unseen. I am not asking you to convert to anything, follow me, or start a cult, but to enjoy a story – that’s all.  I promise you will be crying and cheering at the same time.


Game of Throbbing Nipple Thrones

The Throne at Hamish Hall

The Throne at Famous Hamish Hall

For you Game of Thrones addicts, season three has begun and we find out who back stabs who, all for a chair of scrap swords.

First episode we saw a guy try out the newest body mutation craze, male nipple removal.  Now, I’m pretty tough.  I’m 6’1″, 230 pounds, a former weight lifter and three sport athlete.  But you come near my nipples and I’ll scream like a 3′ 1″, 60 pound geek. Owie.  This is why Famous Hamish (one of my many multiple personality disorders) can’t understand the world of body piercing.  Seems fitting in these days where everyone is trying to discard, stretch, staple, pierce, impale, pedazzles, vadazzles, and stuff their body parts.

I kid with a a blogger who stated she no longer answers the door for all the church people, roofing contractors, and even her small children.  I kidded her that soon those children will grow up and pierce, discard, stretch, staple, stuff, impale, and dazzle their bodies.  They will become so popular that the members of the band “Twisted Pierced Nipple Sisters”, will want to hang out at her house.  They won’t knock, they’ll just bang their heads against the door until it cracks.  They will overrun you and lay siege to your doomsday prepper stock of extra cheesy crunchy bacon jalapeno cheese Cheetos.

I’m already eager for episode two.  I’m sure some renegade punk rockers will be captured and tortured, only for the Lannister’s to discover  – they actually love it!  With thrilling dialogue like this,

“Come on Kingslayer, bedazzle me!  I dare you!  Denipple me you coward! Ooh baby ooh.”

If you love my script writing, just send me a message, I’m eagerly waiting writing stardom by my phone throne.

The Game of Throne Builders

Every so often you get an email or a Facebook post that has hilarious images embedded within.  You know what I refer to, those photos of the people of Walmart next to their disgusting surnames. We are disgusted by them, but they make us feel sane. Today was a great day.  What immediately came to my mind when I saw these images below was a parody on Game of Thrones.  It is said that a bathroom is a man’s domain and the toilet is his throne.  We even name them John and Lou, very kingly names.

Well feast your eyes on these thrones from the fantasy story of Game of Throne Builders.  In the world of Gruntasmellion, there were eleven kings all vying for the top throne.

First there was King Shakealot, of the land of standing thrones, an apparent Gemini.

King Confused

Throne of King Shakealot

Then there was King Upordown of the kingdom of contortion.

King Upordown

Throne of King Upordown

Following Kingupordown is King Faucetsuckle,who forbade the common folk continuous contamination of public faucets by preventing the sideways faucet suckling.  Those that were uncommonly common lapped the floor and thus they had the shiniest bathroom floors in the mythical world.

King Faucetsuckle

Throne of King Faucetsuckle

The there is King Oakenwidendoor, of the open air concept kingdom. But let’s not pass by his realm, for it is an odorous realm of dark heavy air.

King Oakenwidendoor

Throne of King Oakenwidendoor

King Kneepeak, being a somewhat more modest king than Oakenwidendoor, keep the identity of his court secret, until the spring nudist olympics revealed their true identities.

King Kneepeak

Throne of King Kneepeak

Then there was the environmental friendly King Recyclyscrapper.

King Recyclyscrapper

Throne of King Recyclyscrapper

And who can forget King Confessinchamber, were confessions across the land were done in record time and sins were committed no more.  He was the king of peace.  Those that sinned did ten thousand voluntary hail Mary push ups to avoid his powerful mauvaise odeur throne.

King Confesschamber

Throne of King Confessinchamber

Of the more bizarre King’s, King Louie, whose surname was appropriate – The Long Arm, was also the starting center for the world’s traveling basketball team – The Harlen and Darlene Thronerotters.

Throne of King Louie The Long Arm

Throne of King Louie the Long Arm

There was King Sharkenlid, one of the less brilliant kings of the lands who sought corrective solutions to the lands throne builders. His 3rd queen, the lady of Straddlewider, doth protest too much and she was beheaded.

King Skarkenlid

Throne of King Skarkenlid

The last of the small kingdom’s was ruled by king often overseen, King Legoless

King Legoless

Throne of King Legoless

But the King they plotted against and whose throne they lusted for was King Targetalot. There in the throne chamber they knelt and paid homage to his rule and the power of his excellent throne.  For all the other thrones were inferior.

King Targetalot

Throne of King Targetalot

Soon they realized that codes and regulations were in order. DIY manuals and hard alcohol were banned from the country and the citizens were required to be educated in industrial arts and completion of the sixth grade. King Targetalot declared such things for the survival of Gruntsmellion.

On second thought, let’s not go there, it is such a silly place.  Thank you America, I feel less insane today.

Apocalypse Monthly – January 2013 Edition (The Apocabusto)

Apocalypse Monthly

Apocalypse Monthly

As editor, managing member, and chief financial officer of Allivar Creative, LLC publishing (Yes it really exist), I offer to my readers several absurd monthly blogs, including:

These fine monthly editions are a must have on your reading list, why?  They are a reflection of our times and the absurd human condition.  In continuing this tradition of insane creative writing, I have decided to add another fine monthly edition to our offerings – Apocalypse Monthly. Yes it seems we have at least one religious, political, or astronomical apocalypse or conspiracy theory every month and I want to cash in on the paranoia and anxiety.  Our first edition is titled the Apocabusto.

In my 53 years of insane existence, I have witnessed numerous predictions of the end of the world or society as we now know it.  Songs and movies have been made,  toys created, do-it-yourself survival manuals have been written, tie-dye shirts have been tied and dyed; wacky weed seeds have been planted, harvested, and smoked, and dried gourmet food supplies in a plastic tub have been prepared.

THIS IS BIG BIG BUSINESS!  So I thought I’d create my own conspiracies and predictions, because all previous predictions like Y2K, Fiscal Cliff and the Mayan Alarm Calendars have all gone apocabusto (Which is now a major motion picture in production.)  Now that those predictions are busted, the revenue generating streams that kept hundreds of millions employed have gone, well, apocabusto!  This is a serious issue, as some poor unemployed person needs a new job making doomsday merchandise. In case you didn’t already know, I’m also an accountant and creative money making schemes is also my scheme.  So what conspiracy can I create this month, our inaugural edition?

Cable TV

That’s right, cable TV is a sign of the end of times.  My wife and I have a service that subscribes to 3,000 channels.  The only one we wanted was HBO, to watch Game of Thrones, but to get to this fantasy series you have to subscribe and subsidize the other 2,999 wastelands of programming channels, then be patient for the next season or watch the series over and over again. If you didn’t understand the meaning of subsidize, now you do.  My subscription to HBO subsidizes programming like Honey Boo Boo.

Honey what what

Honey what what

Why can’t I just pay-per-view the series?  You see, conspiracy number one of 2013.  If you dare channel surf you just might run across Bridezilla, Honey Boo Boo, Storage Wars, Swamp Thangs and Thongs, or Gator Boys.  This is how I learned about zombies (reality stars)  and vampires (show producers).  These shows are utterly frightening.  I used to love Discovery and National Geographic, they once educated me and informed me, now they seem to follow the absurdity of the moment as well.

Then there was Jersey Shores, which went extinct because one of the female stars got married and then pregnant. Young female readers should note if you get married and pregnant, your life is over, that’s conspiracy number two of 2013.  Even the super storm Sandy had enough of the series.  What?  You didn’t know this already? See how easy it is to start your own conspiracy and apocalypse theories? If a 2013 sunburst occurs and wipes out Cable TV, we are doomed.  All those people you see on TV and those people of WallyMarts will be out on the streets. God help us!!!

Your Gonna Die - Tie Dye

Your Gonna Die – Tie Dye

But enough of that, let’s talk about merchandising. The whole reason for life as we know it. I have ample dead inventory remaining that you need, yes need, to survive the next apocalypse. I need to unload my supplies of Mayan Hot Mayhem Mommas 2012 calendars and “Your Gonna Die”  Tie Dyes. I still have a few boxes of Snookie Cookies, the Snookie Snuggles couch potato body blanket, Snookie Lookie sunglasses, Snookie Nookie lingerie, and the seaside sensation – Snookie Snorkels.  They are just $19.99 each.  But if you order today you’ll get TWO, yes, TWO. But this is a limited time offer, the next apocalypse is nearing, as your sunset retractable awning warranty nears lapsing. But that’s still not all, order now and as a bonus well throw in a set of Snookie Ginsu Knives, to cut your wrist if Honey Boo Boo should ever appear at your door.  But I am still not done, act today and you get a free box of Honey Boo Boo Bon Bon’s to choke on.

Well that completes this inaugural release. I am sure you clearly see the value of this subscription. It is my hope that you will come back next month for more wild and wacky apocalypse and conspiracy predictions.  I got a million of em, ah cha cha cha (Visualize Jimmy Durante)

What apocalypse is on your calendar?

The Legend of Braveliver

William McWalrus

Let me tell you of the story of William McWalrus.  Some will say that I am a silly writer, but I shall not care, for someone has to rewrite history of things of great importance.  William was born a commoner and owned not a thing, only his trusty sword and his skirt, and beautiful thick hair for which lass’s went crazy for, and a comfortable but not expensive chair, and a pair of wooly socks.  When he became a young lad he met a fair lass, Frau Fenella, 1/32 German and 1/32 Scottish, the rest mutated females genes.  She became his mutant queen and they danced and partied until the credit card could bear no more. They then became less than a common commoner, they were uncommonly common commoners – oh you get the point!

William and Frau Fenella

Several years passed and middle age came quickly.  William took to pen and began writing a story where he created and destroyed worlds, and he called his epic tale the CHOSEN ONE OF ALLIVAR (Sorry, a shameless plug for the books had to be written in somewhere.)

William the Conqueror

Soon there came the Battle of Waffleburn and he waged war on the editor and grammarian foes of the land. William was crowned king, without a crown, and he sat upon his comfortable chair and dreamed of game of thrones and contemplated more wars upon his editing foes.

Game of Comfortable Throne

William amassed forces and led brave men to the fields of Fullcork. Victory was upon him when he experienced a sword and skirt malfunction giving battle direction. William became thereafter known as Braveliver to his foes and Wee Willy McWalrus by his queen, friends and countrymen.

Sword Malfunction

Yet the story does not end there, for he and his best friend, Hamish Hamlet, who was turned down the lead role as Princess Fiona in Shrek VIII joined forces and went on a 80’s reunion glamor hair rock band tour at local pubs and casinos, under the group name “TWISTED HAMS”  Due to the sword skirt malfunction, Wee Willy sings falsetto and Hamish carries the baritone.  Tickets are $9.99 each for Tuesday’s night presentation of  Scotthemian Rhapsody

. Twisted Hams

Well somebody has to write this silly stuff and it might as well be me, now sing along with me:

We’re just going to drink it,

You know – we’re just going to drink it,

We’re just going to drink it,

Till we can stand no more!

Our thick and beautiful hair makes you quiver,

and my skirt just makes you shiver,

now you know the legend of Braveliver!


We’re just going to drink it,

You know – we’re just going to drink it,

We’re just going to drink it,

Till we can stand no more!