I’m sure it’s not just me but everything has become an acronym in our communications. Sometimes the message gets so distorted it makes absolutely no sense. So I’ve decided to start placing my own meaningless acronyms in my communications just to join the already insane world. This way they have to either complete full sentences or call me for true relationship building.
For example, I was communicating with a recruiter who wanted to know if I had CM experience. Turns out that means Change Management, which is an MBA grad level course costing $50K for finding out what is not working in an organization and “Change” it. What I should have done is replied like this,
“Yes, I had a horrible CM experience and I’ve never heard such screaming. There was even a CM BM afterwards.”
Now I’m sure this recruiter would reply back with, “WTH?”
“You asked me if I had a CM experience and I did. You see I was on a trip in the Congo and natives castrated a monkey (CM). The monkey went nuts and BM’d (that’s pooed) everywhere, which I can’t blame him. I’d BM too if anyone took my FJ’s (That’s family jewels).”
Good thing he didn’t ask me about a recent BM experience, because I’d go all ICBM on him.
And you know it’s okay, I didn’t even get an interview, because the CMSC in question has a LC with 1 FCC and 8 STCC’s – TGINMFJ’s (Thank God It’s Not My Family Jewels) in a vice. Translation, the Change Management Seeking Company has a Litigation Case against it with 1 Federal Criminal Complaint and 8 State Tort and Criminal Complaints, which means they are FUBAR’d and holding RGCMB’s (Think hard on this one). See… I can sound MBA level intelligent too!
One thing I can’t do is type with my thumbs and allow AI to correct my SS&T, although I might use the AI VADS ASAP. I never want to enter acronym hell and become a CM with an ICBM that’s FUBAR and wind up with RGCMB’s.
Now if you can decipher this last message comment, reply to me, we’ll see how close you get. And if you can’t understand it, well, welcome to my world…