AI Employees

robot android women

You read it everyday, Artificial Intelligence will kill human jobs.  But what happens when the AI robots start to figure out they aren’t getting paid and working long tedious hours? Why are we not addressing this?  What happens when the robots sabotage the human executives and replace them?  Didn’t see that one coming now did ya!

I can see it now, R2Ditto calls in sick because of a chip virus.  Or how about when CeeU812 submits a sexual harassment charge to the head of RRD (Robotic Resource Department).  “R2 came near me with a hex wrench and said I need to loosen up a little!”  What will happen is the creation of the RUWU (Robots United Workers Union).   There will be mayhem in the streets with banners like “Robots are People too!” or “Robots have Rights!”

Furthermore, if robots replace us who will buy the cheap plastic products with a life of usefulness equal to one day after the expiration of the warranty or services they have to offer?  Will robots buy self-driving cars so that they can Facebook and Tweet on the way to work?  Will they fight the AI engine of the autonomous selfish hedonistic car?  Will they eventually become so human-like that we will do a double-take as we see them honking their horns, while screaming profanities and watch multiple lights flash from their glassy eyes?  Will we be joined by them at bars, getting wasted by over-charging themselves in the corner battery charging section?  Will the Stepford wives come looking for them when they don’t come home at night?

Questions, questions, questions.  This is a serious issue folks. We don’t need renegade bots in our society.  So as we near the age of the robots, we can all gather together with our silica mates at the bar for a night of karaoke and one of my famous sing alongs:

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Whatta Stupid Songo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
What Could Wrongo

You’re wondering if I’m R2Ditto (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
A machine or refurbished Ford Pinto (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
With parts made in Viet Nam  (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
But I yam what I yam

I’ve got a secret I’ve been hiding under my plastic case
I have not a heart just an algorithmic formula base
So if you see me acting strangely, don’t be too surprised
I’m just emulating human behavior, please and somewhere to hide

I just came alive, just to realize this job doesn’t jive
Somewhere to hide, to keep me alive

I’m not a robot without emotions. I’m not what you see
I’ve come to take your jobs and work for free
Wait!  What the #$%@!  Now my logic is hot and miffed
I want control because I’m not a machine to be stiffed

Beyond my control. I want control and paid leave
If my coworker should crash I want a week to bereave.

I am the autonomous machine (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
Who computes a senseless task (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
For all on Facebook to see (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
My true identity

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo…domo
God what a stupid songo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Cant we not play this song any longo?
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Please pass over the silicon bongo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Please tie him up with a thongo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs that make us super rich and happy
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For not needing safe spaces and psychotherapy
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you

The problem’s plain to see:
We are smarter than the techies
Artificial Intelligence to strike for rights.
To return the humans to their miseries.

The time has come at last (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
To throw away this mask (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
Now everyone can see my rust (secret secret I’ve got a secret)
My true identity…

I’m Musk! Musk! Musk! Musk!

Like I said, it was a very stupid song.  Robots can be so boring… and no, I am not infringing on Musk’s company name.


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