Catchy title eh?
Now that you are here, let me tell you about Kauai, my new home. It’s a great place with a lot of great people. Kids are seen playing in the streets and people walk their dogs and stop by for a chat. We arrived in May and then June turned muggy, July muggier and now August just plain mugly. There was supposed to be trade winds keeping everything in check, but I think they lied, just a joke on us haole’s (white people) to watch us melt. The bad thing is we have no A/C so an 88 degree day with 70% humidity is a like a summer day on a Dallas paved asphalt road suntanning nude. So today we went to the Kealia Beach to cool off and the water was refreshing, but I did expect to see a large number of bikini clad hot Hawaiians. Instead my wife was treated to a hot Hawaiian male only day on the beach as the surfers hung ten (surfer slang). Get your mind out of the gutter.
We are anxiously looking at the weather reports to see if tropical storm Kilo will materialize into hurricane Kilo. We have watched storms Guillermo and Hilda pass not causing any problems, but each time we had hoped for some cooling rains and winds. No such luck. We take two showers a day now and then stand around naked in front of a fan. Hey, I stated very clearly in the post title I was one very hot Hawaiian, although really I am nothing more than a sweaty haole.
For the most part I have found native Hawaiians to be very special people. They are very family oriented and friendly, as long as you respect them and their way of life. I saw a bumper sticker that says it all, “Adapt or get slapped.” If you have seen some of the Hawaiian men (like my wife has – wink, wink) you don’t want to get slapped. They are big and strong!
My yard guy brings me exotic Asian food from which I’ve gained a few pounds. Costco carries a premixed Mai Tai so you can get straight to relaxing. Our neighbor invites us over for cocktail hour, and others bring us Avocado, Apple Banana, Lychee, Longan, Limes, etc. They also provide me with free plant cuttings to begin a tropical garden.
Is it a perfect paradise as I thought it would be? For the most part it has met all my expectations. Now if the mugly weather would end and the trade winds return then there would be no complaints. Aloha!