Gone Girl – A Review

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Not Another Clue Card!!!!

 

Last night I watched “Gone Girl”, simply because not much else was on and I like Rosamund Pike. I was really enjoying the story right up to the point where she returns home to the oohs and aahs of the public and press at her return, followed by police ceasing all further investigations, followed by her remaing all bloodied up for the gratuitous shower scene.  Really?!  I wasted 2 hours getting ready to cheer the villainess getting her due and everyone just walks away as though nothing happened???  Aflack, you wuss-wuss!

This is why I’ve almost decided to stop watching movies, it is a clear indication our brains are shrinking.  Let’s look at the bloody insane evidence:

  1. What sicko woman wants to have a selfie with a guy who is whispered to have killed his pregnant wife?  Oh I forget, the type that wants their 15 seconds of Facebook fame or a selfie with Charles Manson.
  2. Who was the Nancy Grace wannabe?  All she did is allow the story to evolve where ever the wind blows. Justice may be blind, but reporting is now void of the 5 senses.
  3. Pike’s character admitted all she needed was a few good neighborhood idiots and obligingly she found them faster than you can sign up for Gacko insurance.  They must have lived in Idiocracy USA.
  4. She was unemployed, he was unemployed, and yet still managed to get a $100K credit line?  They never questioned the VISA bill charges or used a lie-detector on Pike.  Oh how convenient!
  5. What attorney with a $100,000 retainer fee EVER, EVER takes a case like this?
  6. They didn’t review the tapes of her at Neil Patrick Harris home to see the romper room activities of the two.
  7. What’s with Harris’ character knowing what shade of hair color to buy to see the “real” her?  What guy would EVER know that?

I could go on and on.  I almost wanted to take a ball-peen hammer to my skull.  Look, I love a good story that has you thinking to the very end, but when you use $6 of your retirement funds to rent a movie, you don’t want to think about a sequel titled,

“Gone Money”

I will say this, Pike’s performance was good, scary good.  I’m not sure I’ll watch anymore of her movies because I’m a little freaked out now, dreaming a clue card might arrive in the mail. She had a limited role in Simon Pegg’s movie, “Hector and the Search for Happiness”, which I watched before this one.  That was a decent flick.

As for Mr. Aflack, come on dude, stand up for us guys, we are being bombarded as being lazy and lacking intelligence, merely controlled by sexual thoughts and video games.  You handed it to them on a platter, fitting extremely well into the neighborhood of convenient idiots.  This applies to all Missourians, are you going to take this lying down?  Demand your rights for equal idiocy and let’s get a few Silicon Valley stories going like “iGone iGone iGirl.”

What has happened to men?  Where’s Rhett when you need him, such as a scene from: “Gone with the Windy Girl”

“Frankly, Awesomely Amazing Amy – I don’t give a damn.”

Now, I’d pay to see that…

Chime in now.  What recent psychopathic movie did you watch that just had you asking, “What the…?”

 

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