Will You Just Cork It!!! 2014 Fashion Trends Revealed and Reviled

CorkFashions

I love enterprising people!  They take the ordinary daily objects and make art, art you can wear and be the center of the fashion universe, the attraction on main street.  But these corked off entrepreneurs never go all the way, to turn a Martha Steward 30 sec0nd artsy project, into a gagagozillion dollar industry.  I present to you the top-selling idea of 2014 by world-famous multipurpose designer Chaz Shiraz Obidiazz – YAZ!

CorkerTop

Who needs halter tops, they are sooo passe! We have all the sizes; Petite, Small, Medium, Large, Oakbarrel XXL and that’s just the beginning.  There’s also our scratch and sniff collection:

  1. Cabinet Sauvignonion
  2. Chateaux de Chattilady
  3. Younotouch de Pinot Noir Ohnonono
  4. Shiraz Shiraz Chaz Nockuonurazz (Our Top Seller, aged like a fine pair of gym socks)
  5. Zippididooda Zinfandel
  6. Gewürztraminer Gudentata

Each is 100% guaranteed to lead to a sexual harassment suit.  You’ll be rich, Rich, RICH (Less Chaz’s finder fee of 40%).

Each CorkerTop is guaranteed to keep you afloat should you fall off a boat or a dock after too many bottles. You can also tack grocery lists (aka, wine replacement order form) and never have to make a second trip.  Triple the pleasure and sell tack-on advertising (franchise fee of 40% applies).

But we can’t leave the man in your life out of the social groove.  We promise he’ll be the artful dodger and the top target of trendsetting sheeple seekers in the multipurpose:

DorkInaCork

corkxedo

I’m a not a stork with major torque,

I do not eat pork with a fork,

I am not from New York, New York

I am Mork, the Dork in a Cork.

He’ll be the bull of your eye and guaranteed to be hit on, over and over again.

But, we don’t rest on our laurels, we are always thinking ahead.  After a night on the town, sit back and rest in your new….

CorkZeeBoy

CorkzeeBoy

This is just the beginning, stay tuned for more things you can do with the money you could have retired on.  Now for some gratuitous booty images courtesy of our mascot Carli Corky Corgi

Corgi

Absurd you say, well just cork it!

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4 comments on “Will You Just Cork It!!! 2014 Fashion Trends Revealed and Reviled

  1. sassycoupleok says:

    Love the imagination ! The real fun would be in un-corking all those bottles of wine and drinking them 😉

  2. Rebel Sowell says:

    Love this. Made me chuckle and put a smile on my face, something I really needed at the moment.

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