Speedy Petey Enterprises


I have always said the inspiration for my humor writing comes from other people.  They supply just enough information and then I run with it.  Case in point, I was at a party when a person over heard we were moving to Hawaii.  This person, who I had never met before said,

“I volunteer to carry your luggage!  I’ve got my speedo and I’m ready to go!!!!” 

He didn’t realize he was talking to an absurd writer.  This conversation took a path to the enterprising ways to make money on Hawaii.  Nothing says Aloha better than a speedy escape from the airport to Speedy Petey’s Speedo World Resort.


Once at the resort you will want to speed in your speedo to the beach.  Well you are fast buckaroo, but you can’t outdo old Petey!  He’ll have a beach bum chair awaiting upon arrival.


For all you ladies, we have a special Luau and Speedo Fashion Revue, Ooh La La…


And after a hard day’s work on the beach come by Petey’s world famous  Teenie Tinnie Tiki Bar and grab hold of Petey’s Sneaky Puckerin Rum Punch.


Now we can’t always guarantee the beach will be empty when you wake up on day two.  But Speedy Petey’s got you covered, with the world’s fastest guaranteed method of clearing the beach for our guests.

Meet the clearing crew, stars of the Speedy Petey’s Cable Network reality show sensation:

Jersey Shore Clearers


From left to right
Alfonzo “Fonzy” Sartuche 

Guido “Wow Wow” De Luca

Dante “The Inferno” Bruno

Leonardo “The Godfather” Leopoldo

Mario “I’m Your Situation” Romano


The second these five tanned gods walk on the beach the area is cleared within one minute. Works like a charm every time.  If you see these great guys tuck in a tip, they’d appreciate it kindly.

At Speedy Petey’s Speedo World Resort, we want to feel at home and like one of the family.  Ya’ll come see us, you hear!  Mahalo. Oh, don’t forget to hang loose, we do!

Disclaimer#1 : See what happens you give an author any form of scenario to write about, oh and a copy of Photoshop.  I know my face is darker than my body.  I’m just a little shy and blushing.
Disclaimer #2: If I offended any Italian in this humor post, I sincerely apologize, it was all meant in fun.
Disclaimer #3 – If I offended any Hawaiian in this humor post, I sincerely apologize, it was all meant in fun.

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