It has arrived, the official insane season. The season of deep discounts and more useless gadgets, version 9.11. The time of year where peace and love abound amongst men of goodwill. You noticed I said “men.”
Who am I kidding, it’s the season for Mad Maxine shopping and 2013 is just about as Black and Blue as any season before it. This year we have PS4’s and Xbox One’s to maim and trample over. I read a women even spit on the infant of another woman’s over baby clothes! Clothes? Really? I also read quite a bit of the insanity happened at Walmart’s. Need I say more?!
One incident involved a runaway hover round that trampled and drug two innocent children who were simply testing out Tickle Me Elmo 2013.
Oh, the inhumanity of it all. One Walmart was even evacuated over a bogus bomb threat. I’m sure there are many, many other instances where women and some men, egged on by female pheromones discharged, that don’t make it to the news. Hopefully my loyal readers (all two of you) will report what you saw.
Now me, I give my thanks and I go shopping on Sanity Saturday. This is the day the hospitals are full of recuperating shoppers and shoplifters, and jails are booked to 150% capacity. Innocent bystanders will be hiding out in their homes from Black Friday Shock Syndrome, too afraid to reappear until next Thanksgiving madness. Besides all I truly need is some new Hanes. I expect fully to be screamed and spit upon by some genetically altered female. But I have compassion, it’s in their female code and they can’t help it. All I can do is dress the part and be one of the people of Walmart. What do you think? Will I blend in?
Share if you dare your worst Unthanksgiving moment.