As usual, my friends on Facebook provide the material for my insanity. One of my female friends drug me into this one with the the following question. Here it goes:
Then, for some reason, I was pulled into this with this comment:
EW Greenlee, You have got to jump into this one! This stuff is right up your alley!
This caught me by surprise, because I wondered if she knew I was a man. Was Spanx some form of 50 Shades board and rack game? Do not pass go, do not collect $200, bend over and receive your Spanx. I had no idea why I was being dragged into this one, so I researched Spanx and found it was just undergarments. Really, really tight undergarments. Whew…. So I replied back,
Sorry, I don’t jump into women’s panties. Who do you think I am?!
Then one reader responded “Kilt Spanx”, to which I replied,
Sorry, I go all natural when wearing kilts. I never know when I need to do the Braveheart flash scene. Freeeeedom! Aiyeeee!
If you have ever seen that scene you know what I am talking about. If not, rent it and see what’s under those kilts – both sides!!
Now the instigator of this madness replied one last time,
I know you love to laugh. You’re going to have try this, and then write about it. It would be a hoot! Get Tracey one too, and make it a couple’s event! LOL!
So as you can see my absurd readers are waiting patiently for my brilliant post.
First off, if my wife and I ever decided to go all 50 Shades of Spanx and share panties, I would not share it with anyone. Second, there would be no sex tape, unless I have $1 billion in pre-orders (hey, scruples can be bought!) Just for fun I thought I share some of their comments, since I was asked to jump in.
Sure been thinking about getting some! Anything that might hid the reality!
I finally got it on and then….thought I would never get it off and I might die.
Do they come in extra large?
I never squirmed and twisted so much in my life! It was awful
I felt like a fish flopping out of water!
I thought I should call an EMT! Hey, I am serious…..I was scared….
Same here I lost my courage, I wouldn’t even try a larger size! It was awful!
I bought one of those deals for my daughter’s wedding.. sweated like a pig.. She got married in June. I thought I was gonna die.
I sweated like a pig, because I was struggling so hard to get it off!!!!
I found the Power Panty far too tight (First male response – the Wuss Wuss train is now boarding)
They make these for men too! You’re a curious soul…. (Referring to yours truly)
No, I am not THAT curious. But I do love to laugh. I can only imagine a bunch of menopausal women squirming and sweating like a bunch of pigs as a good night of fun – NOT! Is this what really happens at Bunko?
You ladies and Mr. Wuss Wuss, should have known any product named SPANX is going to hurt. If I decide I want to become a soprano opera wuss wuus, I’ll give Spanx a try. Geez Mon!
And there you have it! My contribution to the product known as Spanx, to which Famous Hamish (my alter ego) says NO THANKS! I have a wife, isn’t that torture enough!