Everyday someone or some corporation is registering or trademarking a name that can never be used by anyone ever again unless with permission, which is usually millions of dollars. Apple is registering the name iWatch for some new gadget the techie drooling world will drool over. They need to do something, the price of the stock has dropped drastically the last couple of years. But come on, leave some of the i’s for the rest of us! This why today I am trademarking the following names:
- iMy iDea – There will be no more ideas unless you pay me first.
- iiCaptain – no known commercial use as of yet, it’s just fun to say.
- iJockStrap – if you ever catch athlete’s looking down their pants for the play call, this was iMy brilliant iDea!
- iShammieWow – I just want to see Vinci do one of my commercials, “It’s not just a Shammie, you can check out Apple stock quotes and order hookas while you dry ya car.”
- iSpy – try these techie glasses on that can see through clothes and concrete bunkers. You’ll go all iGoogly for them.
- iHip – because you aren’t hip until your iHip. iI say so.
- iBoob – get the most of your silicone implants. Your girls will actually talk with you. I’ve programmed each one so that iBetty and uBoop can assist you in intellectual conversations as to why Bella gave up her soul to glittering and glistening Edward.
And this is just the start! Right now I am inventing all kinds of products in my brilliantly twisted absurd mind. This way you can buy them on any of the 3,000 useless cable TV channels. “But wait! If you order now you get two iJockStraps for the price of one!” I am also launching several other new products, take a look:
- oCrap – the best toilet plunger in the market today. “Honey! Hurry and bring the oCrap!”
- oPad – because someone has to start a new product fad. “Like I have an oPad, an oPhone, a oPod, a oLap, oTunes and an oWatch, I’m so iHip.”
- oLeak – because somewhere there is something leaking and oLeak can stop it, except for government secrets and budgets.
- yKnot – the knot tying device for your hair. yKnot?
- yTee – good for naming t-shirts and golf tees and a good description of my pale skin.
- oNo – the new card game to compete with uNo.
- yRetire – the new oWatch app that will demonstrate you can retire at the age of 168.
- uBoob – the new video sharing site on the yWeb
- ySettle – the new legal website to help you settle emotional distress lawsuits.
- oRing. ySettle for the One Ring or the oWatch, when you can have the oRing.
Well iI could go on and on with all the possibilities, but I might appear iGreedy and iAbsurd.
Do you have a word you want to trademark? Let me know and I’ll share the profits with you.