Oh the Absurdity of People

Abner

Abner, it’s that weird author running around naked again. I’m gonna file an assault charge.

I could write something about the absurdity of people every single day.  We simply have to read the news and within 30 seconds you can find the insane.  Here’s a example hot from today’s headlines

Sexual assault charges filed against man for being naked in his own home

It appears a woman was exposed to his indecent exposure on four separate times. She even videotaped his nudity and actions.  You can read all the sorted details if you like.

Now this sounds to me like contributory absurdity – to complain about someone else, instead of turning the cheek and minding your own business.  I’ve walked around naked in my house many times looking for clean laundry or just trying to cool off.  My wife is a cold-natured person and her need to have our interior environment on equality of the planet Mercury is about to suffocate me.  Sometimes without my knowledge she opens our blinds after I shower and I’ll stroll by, and then run by to prevent exposing myself to the general public.  Her response when I complain about my involuntary exposure, “No one can see you!”

You wanna bet?  Read this article madam.  Our next door neighbors may be watching with binoculars and a video camera.  Just ready to file charges that might cost me thousands of dollars and public humiliation.  Besides I am no longer a stud, like I was in my 20’s and 30’s.  If I was, then I’d be cooperating with my neighbors like movie stars and social butterflies, like the Cardsharkians who pimp themselves out for everything, to make a few bucks.  But I am 53, which means I went from stud to dud in 60 seconds flat.  This is why they file assault charges.  Filming duds causes irreparable eye and brain damage.  They will also file punitive damages from my puny appearance.  It’s insane I tell you.

Now that I have informed my wife about this news article, I’m afraid that in the days to come I’ll answer the door and I’ll be served to appear in court for visual sexual assault.  Who is the complainant?  My wife, who insists the 10,000 times I’ve run around naked has done her irreparable harm.

I don’t know why I torture myself reading the news.  It gets more absurd with each passing second.  Have a nice day.

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6 comments on “Oh the Absurdity of People

  1. rebecca2000 says:

    Hmph, I love to be naked in my house. I would sue the lady for peeping a peeping tom. I am sure you look great, sorta like a cute Shar pei.

  2. sassycoupleok says:

    Actually this case got thrown out by the judge for several reasons, which it should have been. Ones rights in their own home are pretty much protected, even being seen nude inside the home, outside can be another matter. We are nude in our house most of the time and we never close our blinds day or night. We have been seen nude often by or neighbors, our friends, pedestrians and passing motorists all without complaint. Some have even stopped to take the time to stare, I’m guessing at that point they have become a peeping tom or at least a voyeur. We will remain nude as always.

  3. Rana says:

    What I found so amusing about this story is that if it were a woman strutting naked in her home and a man who observed from the outside 1) there would be no complaining, the man would have no gripes at all about this situation, and 2) THE MAN WOULD BE ARRESTED FOR BEING A PEEPING TOM!!! Why is this woman not charged with voyeurism, especially since SHE TAPED HIM! This is a criminal offense, and yet because she’s the one with boobs watching his danglies instead of the other way around, he gets punished. Such BS, I don’t even…

    • ewgreenlee says:

      Danglies? Well that’s a new one and I kinda like it.

      “There stood Dan, dashingly dangling in the den window, when Deidre’s jaw dropped from his exposed danglies.”

      Had it been a woman, a man would have sold it off to TMZ and got rich with the video on YouBoob. There is just no market for dashing danglies.

      Yes the world is completely and absurdly voyeuristic.

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