Construction Dysfunction

I am a frustrated architect.  I truly wanted to design homes and buildings for a living, but couldn’t pass college physics and calculus.  It just didn’t make any sense.  I should have tried harder because the world is full of idiots.  I have proof right here.  Exhibit #1 (The EU ATM System)

Exhibit #1

Exhibit #1

How does one prevent a run on banks?  Simple, make them leap for withdrawals.  In this case, the guy has to jump four times to enter his pin.  When completed he gets a timeout message that his transaction cannot be completed and his card is spit out into the EU winds aloft.  Replacement cards take from 4 weeks to 4 years.

Exhibit #2

Exhibit #2

You’ve heard of the bridge to nowhere?  Well say hello to the WTH Bridge.  Have you ever noticed coming up on a road construction project where there are 18 guys standing around and 1 guy with a shovel?  Seems calculus wasn’t working for this crew of engineers.  Maybe an eye, along with a brain, examination is needed.

Exhibit #3

Exhibit #3

This must have been a custom dysfunction construction project.  The owner desired to take paper baths instead of sponge baths.

Exhibit #4

Exhibit #4

I get the concept of bidets, I really do, but this goes beyond dysfunction to the realm of deranged.  I am laying odds this is the new Bubba Bidet.  Here you can relieve yourself, wash your backside, take a shower and water pick your teeth all in one sitting.

Exhibit #5

Exhibit #5

My final exhibit goes from deranged dysfunction to derailed.  Can you imagine a realtor having to sell you this? “I’d love to show you the lovely view from the patio.”  Uh, you first ma’am. The ad in the paper just read, “So close to the train station you can hear the engines roar.”

This blog is not only about my writing, but about the absurdities in our world.  As long as there are dysfunctional humans, we will have something to write about.

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