This sounds like a chapter from a fantasy adventure story, but it is actually a chapter out of modern history. Last night I died laughing, but was resurrected, by my male genetic code to survive this modern age, from watching comedian Don Friesen. He’s now my favorite comedian because he has observed the modern wussy world and is making a living from it. Here’s a sample.
All aboard the wuss train – wuss, wuss! I refuse to ride that train with shaved chest, legs, arms and groin, carrying my little man purse and looking modern in my man Capri. My daughter says that men like this are now called a hipster.
A hipster you say? If you go back to the 1970’s, my generation, they would have been called a wuss. Sorry, I know it is not politically correct, but I’m not a politician. It’s funny too, because when women post photos on Facebook or blogs you see something like the following photo below under a category called “Man Candy.” Now he might be wearing a leather kilt, but also notice the salivating women bidding on this “man.” How many of you ladies would bid on an Erkel or a Bieber? That’s what I thought.
I graduated high school in 1977. I was 6’1″ and 135 pounds. I was not a man, I was a twig. If I turned sideways you couldn’t see me. I was the incredible disappearing twig wussy. See, I don’t even spare myself. So I took off on a quest to leave wussyville behind me – forever. One year later I put on 50 pounds of muscle and BAM – Quakers Instant Man! My love life went from zero and dead on arrival, to hero and gone in sixty seconds. I was going on a hunch that strong men survive the gene pool. The age of the wuss had ended.
So ladies help me out here, tell me what you are really thinking? Here’s your choices – the sensitive, fashionable, video game addicted, completely shaven, hipster twig wuss of a man like slave substance, or
A real man with hair and muscle, ready to lay down his life and rescue you from evil. With this hero, you’ll have to carry your own shopping bags.
I think I know the answer.
Yup, I was right the first time. The wuss train is leaving, the man candy wagon is boarding. ALL ABOARD!
Man up men!