Have you ever wondered why flatulence from babies are so funny and lovable, but not adults? I do, because its discrimination I tell you. I am in a discriminated class of citizen and I demand my rights!!! I digress as usual.
My grandson just turned four months old a few weeks ago. He is one cute boy. Even his poo and gas are cute merely from the facial and body motions he makes. He grimaces, clinches his fist and stretches out like Superman getting ready to launch. Then he launches the raunchy. GiGi (my wife) then gets the call of dooty duty. Sorry, I did my time with my two kids. I didn’t have them so that I could relive those moments with their kids, no matter how cute they are. Their generation has to get their hands dirty like the rest of mankind’s history. And their ain’t no app for that.
I can make faces too if people want. Would that help? Maybe we need a flatulence facial alarm system. Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket. Little subtle facial expressions to forewarn people of the coming doom and gloom. Babies do it! We just fail to recognize the facial alarm signals. Here are two I clearly recognize.
Now aren’t they just precious? They almost remind me of Gollum trying to solve a riddle in the dark. Why should babies be allowed to have all the fun and cuteness?
Even politicians do it. They hold all the power in the world in their hands and sometimes in their bowels.
Stars do it. They make millions being uncouth and disgusting.
Why should the ordinary masses be precluded from doing it? We have every right to pass gas and have a gasser of a laugh.
I write to make people think and to make people laugh. We do too little of this in these days and times. I urge you to slow down, turn off the TV and go out in public. Use your smartphones to take photos of people whose faces are giving off alarms. Then laugh about them in private. Oh, and then send me the photos. There is surely a face that needs a new alarm name.