Each month I pick a topic and somehow insanely blend it into my growing list of monthly blog posts. This month’s insanity is cupcakes, because it seems to be a huge international conspiracy and trend. To get men interested in the trend, ladies are topping the silly little cakes with bacon. Not only are they topping these things with meats, they are hosting little parties around the cakes. Now I first published this conspiracy in the Female Code, which I advise all men to read first for perspective.
Okay now that you are done reading, you are now aware of the conspiracy. Some of our male guests to the club don’t quite believe me do you? Do you recall the great cigar smoking conspiracy of 1990’s? The one were women started smoking cigars to get in on our social functions. WHAT? You didn’t realize this until now?
I am beginning to wonder about my own gender. This is why membership in the man club is so very, very, important to the survival of our gender. You are being bombarded by sweets and meats – FOOLS! Every time your humble president advises you of the latest female conspiracy, a new one is being deviously developed. Ladies have a special institute for this very reason. They invest heavy in R&D to infiltrating our world. Cupcakes sales are now big business. So if you notice the lady of your life with a clipboard observing you, you are being scoped out, for the next trend if bacon covered cupcakes begin to fail. As I researched this topic, I found a site that simply says “Everyday is a cause for celebration”, with their cupcakes, of course. This is where we men need to retaliate. I know their weaknesses found in the 7C gene of their female code – Control, Chocolate, Cupcakes, Coffee, Cream, Cigars and Carats (As in diamonds).
Therefore an emergency amendment has been made to our rule book.
Section 666, Paragraph (A) Subsection (1), Lower Level (b), which states:
“Hoard all the chocolate, coffee, cupcakes, cigars, cows and diamonds. Without these vital life ingredients, the female loses her mind and control over you.”
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s not technically a complete paragraph, but your humble president is a simple man. To prove my point, I too, am observing the unspoken female code. My daughter came home the other day with chocolate covered coffee beans. She mixes hot chocolate with her coffee and adds cream. My wife cannot live without coffee and cream. Luckily for me neither is into cigars or cupcakes at the present time.
Now that you have been advised, be on the watch out for their next infiltrating conspiracy. They usually involve something subtle, sultry, sweet and meaty. Every so often one female loses her mind and isn’t subtle, like Lady Gaga’s meat dress. Poor gal, even us men don’t fall for the “come and get it” boy toy meaty buffet ploy. Some gals are just born that way.