You Shall Not Pass – I Double Daughter Dare you!


We all recall the great words of Gandalf the White’s famous words to the Balrog – “You Shall Not Pass.”  Wait, no, that’s actually from Monty Python’s Holy Grail.  Wait, no, that’s not it either.


The point is that this applies to the household of Famous Hamish.  Just a short while back my daughter dared me to create posts around photographs.  She just didn’t realize that in secret I was learning Photoshop. Bwahahahahaha.

I am a protective father, so if you decide you wish to pass and court my Courtney, then let me establish Famous Hamish’s daughter dating rules:

  1. You must have a great bass fishing boat.  [Send Photo of Boat]
  2. Stocked with ice cold beer. [Send Amples of Samples]
  3. Pay Homage to Famous Hamish [$100,000]
  4. Pull your pants up or put on a kilt.
  5. Keep your hands off the huge tracts of land, or it will be more than a flesh wound.
  6. Have her home by 8:00 p.m. along with amples of samples.
  7. You must have an MBA, a 10,000 square foot castle; and a nice, but not too expensive, shrubbery.
  8. You must be able to hold down Famous Hamish’s Hot Hurled Haggis for 30 seconds, while doing a one-legged potato sack race, knitting a kilt and playing the bagpipes.
  9. Gene testing.

That’s all. Trust me she is worth every perilous haggis hurling moment.  Unless your name is Herbert, then you my boy, shall not pass.  For I am the servant of the secret Photoshop, wielder of the quick selection tool, destroyer of dashingly daring dating dunderheads.

Do you have, or did your father have some rather strict or absurd dating rules?


4 comments on “You Shall Not Pass – I Double Daughter Dare you!

  1. Elisabeth says:

    This reminds me of my little brothers. Last night, I was talking to them about some story ideas and the older one (age 10) announced that I put too much romance in my books. From there, the conversation quickly escalated to him and one of my other brothers (age 7) offering to physically torture my boyfriend should I get one. Apparently, there’s a 100% chance of the poor slob messing up.

    Ah, they’re so sweet.

    • ewgreenlee says:

      You should be thankful you have such loving brothers. We guys know a “cad” when we see one. In just a few years, they will be begging you for more romance in your stories.

      Thanks for posting Elisabeth! Hope your books are doing great.

      • Elisabeth says:

        Oh, yes, I am very thankful for my little men! They even share my love of high fantasy and Dark Lords. =) The younger one probably will enjoy the romantic elements in a few year and my teen brother doesn’t seem to mind, but the 10 year old…well, he’d never admit to it if he did!

    • ewgreenlee says:

      How cool it must be to have an author for a sister.

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