We all recall the great words of Gandalf the White’s famous words to the Balrog – “You Shall Not Pass.” Wait, no, that’s actually from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. Wait, no, that’s not it either.
The point is that this applies to the household of Famous Hamish. Just a short while back my daughter dared me to create posts around photographs. She just didn’t realize that in secret I was learning Photoshop. Bwahahahahaha.
I am a protective father, so if you decide you wish to pass and court my Courtney, then let me establish Famous Hamish’s daughter dating rules:
- You must have a great bass fishing boat. [Send Photo of Boat]
- Stocked with ice cold beer. [Send Amples of Samples]
- Pay Homage to Famous Hamish [$100,000]
- Pull your pants up or put on a kilt.
- Keep your hands off the huge tracts of land, or it will be more than a flesh wound.
- Have her home by 8:00 p.m. along with amples of samples.
- You must have an MBA, a 10,000 square foot castle; and a nice, but not too expensive, shrubbery.
- You must be able to hold down Famous Hamish’s Hot Hurled Haggis for 30 seconds, while doing a one-legged potato sack race, knitting a kilt and playing the bagpipes.
- Gene testing.
That’s all. Trust me she is worth every perilous haggis hurling moment. Unless your name is Herbert, then you my boy, shall not pass. For I am the servant of the secret Photoshop, wielder of the quick selection tool, destroyer of dashingly daring dating dunderheads.
Do you have, or did your father have some rather strict or absurd dating rules?