As many of you well know I write a monthly blog edition titled Female Code. I’ve been deeply in love with and married to the same woman for 32 years. Yet, I am as deeply confused and no closer to the summit of enlightenment when it comes to understanding women. Now I follow many women’s blogs to see if I can infiltrate the thinking of women. I don’t know why. Is this what BDSM is all about – brain pain? I mean, I am beginning to feel ignorant. When my mother tried to warn me about women, I thought she was sending me Navajo enigma code. I didn’t get it. I should have listened and been a philosopher.
Just when you think you have women figured out, they surprise you. Taste in men for example. My wife hates it when I don’t shave. So who does she have the hots for? A scruffy unshaven Keith Urban, until he married Nicole Kidman. If there is anything I have learned, women hate other women who have ruined the ignorance of those they have the hots for. That’s was supposed to be their duty. Now do you understand a man’s confusion? We aren’t supposed to understand. We are supposed to remain ignorant.
Then it dawned on me, women love ignorant men. That’s right, I’ve broken the code. As long as a man is ignorant he will rush around doing everything to move heaven and earth to satisfy their endless whimsies. The second we are exhausted from our own ignorance is the day they start quilting, scrap booking, and other wealth consuming hobbies. They begin going on dates with other women, quilt retreats, and other chick conventions to discuss how their men are no longer ignorant. That’s when the magic dies and you get Lucy and Ricky Ricardo beds for the master suite. I am approaching 54 years on this insane world and it was today after reading one of these ladies blog posts, the dawn of wisdom shone down upon me – that sometimes ignorance is bliss.
So for those of us men who have seen the light and prefer the tranquility of the darkness, put on your best ignorant act, and keep peace and a king-sized bed in your home. It shouldn’t be too hard, we were born this way.