The second most sought after career in 2013 continues as it has for many years.
Video Game Tester / Player / God
That’s right video game tester. Sales of video games are around $25 billion. This requires a lot of testers before the games hit the market. In South Korea it is at a different level:
“In South Korea, video games are considered to be a major social activity—locally developed Role-Playing games and MMORPG games have proven very popular in the country. Professional competition surrounding video games (especially those involving real-time strategy games) also enjoy a substantial following in South Korea—major tournaments are often broadcast on television, and have large prizes available.”
Most young guys are now addicted to video games and prefer them over sex. How sick! My son and his friend once thought they were going to be video game testers. My daughter’s ex-husband thought he was going to be a video game God in South Korea, if he could only get to South Korea. You see, video game playing is hard work, it requires excellent eye-hand coordination and “Depends” underwear. It requires superbly strong and toned finger and wrist muscles. You’ve heard of Popeye? Well call these gods of joysticks Fongeye Fat Fingers.
Let me say that I love video games. I was around when the first games came out. Remember Pong? Remember Space Invaders, Galaxia, and Pac-Man? Simple entertainment for a couple of hours, then you headed off to the discotheque to see if you could chase a few girls around the dance floor. That’s why we stayed so skinny in the 70’s and 80’s. We need to revive disco. Nowadays with virtual reality you can chase the girls around in the video game. I kid you not that one time my son’s friend commented on how “hot” one of the video game girls was. Well if Peggy Pixels, Betty Binary and Tonia Terabyte does it for you man, have at it.
Video game testers require so very little in the form of job perks. Give them a comfortable chair, 72 hour energy drinks and junk food. You will then have a loyal employee forever, or at least until they lock-up, turn blue, and crash from MMORPG seizures. Aren’t computers wonderful?
If you need help becoming a video game God, just know you can order Rosatito’s Joystick, the self help computer aid to video game career success. Send $399 today to:
1234 Suckers Way
Grand Cayman Islands
Call today 1-800-SUCK-ERS
Disclaimer: remember this is supposed to be humor. If you found it less than humorous and want to send out a virus, be sure to start with Apple and Microsoft, you know, those pirates of silicon valley that ushered in the era of personal computer.