As we move towards 2013 I wanted to bring to my readers attention of the top 3 jobs, as I see them, sought after for 2013. Without any further delay let me start with the 3rd highest,
Tanning Salon Attendant / Owner / Gawker
This brilliant idea came to me from my teenage son and his best friend back in the 1990’s. Here’s their money making business model objectives:
- The job has to be fun,
- There has to be good looking girls involved,
- It makes a lot of money, and
- They don’t have to work very hard.
There you have it, the mindset of my son’s generation. At first I shook my head, then I thought, well maybe they are on to something. But don’t just stop there, add massage, full body massage. This way you get to touch said good looking girls with a valid excuse. It’s utterly brilliant I tell you! Then again I went back to the 4th reason above. They might get cramped fingers and file for disability. Playing video games is their true passion, so by all means save all the muscle action for that pursuit. Between video games and texting I’m surprised they don’t have fingers like Popeye. Visualize it, long skinny arms, thick, very thick and muscular fingers. As soon as I recover my long-lost sketching skills, I will post some sketches to help in the visualization.
Okay scratch the idea of massage. Besides they are just dedicated gawkers. Add body stamps, I mean tattoos. This way you can still touch and get really, really close. Who knows where they will ask you to be stamped. Tout your new solar activated neon stamps, or permanent glow ink to offer that special girl the ability to be noticed in the dark. The whole point is to diversify and offer as many products and services under one roof, and keep the chicks coming back. For all you hormone riddled young male entrepreneurs here’s your chance. Get a tanning bed and open up shop. Hormone riddled young women are sure to line up for your services. However, location and naming of the salon is very important, might I suggest just a few:
- Red Hot Bod’s
- Big Bollocks Bobby’s Browning Beds
- Two Guys Staring and Drooling Salon
- Glow in the Dark Dames
- Silly Sally’s Sunburst Salon
- Radiating Nuclear Beauties
- Sunny Side Up Stamped Tramps and Salon
- Babb’s Bronzing Beds and Stamps
- Gawking Geeks Tanning Salon
So why wait, select one of the names above, send me $10,000 for franchise and trademark fees. I have eagerly pale skinned customers just waiting for you to open. Here’s a sample of my client list:
1234 Suckers Way
Grand Cayman Islands
Call today 1-800-GAWK-ERS
Disclaimer: Honey, the photo of the chicks above is a free photo found on Everystockphoto.com. I do not know these girls. I am only using this for humor, and I am not living a double life. Please put down the shotgun.