Remember the song “There has to be a morning after..” Well we have survived the Mayan apocalypse and here we stand the morning after. Have we died and just don’t know it and now stand in the 15th age of Bottom Earth? Will Gondeaf the Wizard arrive from the west and give us wisdom? And what am I going to do with all this doomsday prepper inventory? Holy cow! My retirement is embedded in all this dried food buckets, ammo and weaponry. What am I going to do?
Open a new doomsday shop. That’s the ticket.
Welcome to Big Bollocks Bobby’s
Morning After Doomsday
Resale and Consignment Shop.
So you say you don’t need any doomsday stuff. Of course you do, because the next doomsday is the fiscal cliff on 12/31/2012. This disaster isn’t based on a prophecy, but the pure stupidity of our federal government. Bollocks you say! Well why are the two parties screaming at each other? One wants taxes to increase, the other wants spending cuts. The sequestration provision of their last bargaining session provides both. Isn’t this what they wanted? Here we were worried about polar shifts when our own government is driving us off a cliff. Well Big Bobby says why wait any longer, order supplies today.
If you order now, we’ll double the order and throw in a Snuggie Wuggie, a Henry A. Cod piece, and a bottle of Jack Daniels to boot. What a bargain! Right?
But, that’s not all! Big Bobby will even throw in a 45 LP from Maureen McGovern’s 1972 Oscar winning hit song from the Poseidon Adventure, another doomsday flick.
But that’s still not all! Big Bobby is one party down dude. For the top purchaser, Big Bobby will fly you to Needles, CA to party down with Big Bobby and the newly crowned Fiscal Cliff Queen – Annie Oddly.
Call 1-800-BIG-BOBS right now, operators are not standing by.
Big Bollocks Bobby
1234 Suckers Way
Grand Cayman Islands
Sing Along Time
There’s got to be a morning after,
Congress has our wallets in their sight,
We can clearly hear their laughter,
As they hold our bollocks tight.
Oh, can’ t you see the morning after,
As we lay at the bottom of the cliff,
Congress will vacation with drink and laughter
As they continue to tax the working stiff.
It’s not too late, we shouldn’t be snobby,
We can still order a survival kit,
Straight from Big Bobby’s lobby
And tell Congress to go and eat grit.
We had an editorial change to the song at the last moment, as the editor thought the ending of the song wasn’t politically correct. From all of us at Big Bobby’s we wish you a Happy Fiscal Cliff.