Okay my fellow readers and writers, let’s share a moment of imagination. Whoever made this tree is certainly imaginative. What they didn’t know is that I am too. Today I was on Facebook with a British gentleman and author by the name of Danny Kemp. He is quite hilarious. He posted this photo and then I proceeded to corrupt it, my specialty. Some of Danny’s friends made the usual comments such as, “You have to give them a hand.”
I tried, I really, really tried to keep it in the realm of Christmas thoughts with my first reply, “Ten cows a milking…five golden rings!”
Well, it went downhill from there. My next corrupted thought would be if someone filled up this imaginative object with Helium and let it float over the city. You have to admit the UFO reports would be hilarious. Now using your imagination picture John Cleese dressed like a woman, with stockings hanging to his ankles and talking to Graham Chapman dressed like a policeman.
Cleese: “I tell you officer it was like seeing the Hindenburg with nipples!”
Chapman: “Nipples you say. Can you be a little more specific for the report?”
Cleese: “Yes, rather brilliant white nipples. Some were pierced and studded with lovely colored jewels. Some were red, blue, green and even an inexpensive lovely chartreuse one. I didn’t know whether to stop or go.”
Chapman: “Have you ever seen such colored nipples in the sky before?”
Cleese: “I don’t like the tone of that question officer. I don’t step out of my pad each day into this dodgy world intentionally looking upwards for brilliant nipples! It was just there staring me in the face.”
Now Chapman leaves the dame Cleese to search out more eyewitnesses. He runs across many whose descriptions are all different. He then runs into Michael Palin, a stodgy old reserved professional, no nonsense barrister.
Palin: “Officer the most confounded sight just passed my eyes. It was a UFO. I am certain of it.”
Chapman: “Yes, yes, we have had some reports. Can you describe it for me?”
Palin: “Flying lactating cows.”
Palin: “In a cluster. You couldn’t see heads or hooves. Just the mammary glands.”
Chapman: “Flying cluster mammal mammary glands? is that your official report?”
Palin: “Yes officer. I’m curious what other reports have you heard?”
Chapman: “Well it varies, some saw the Hindenburg with nipples. Most reported a Christmas tree made from surgical gloves, which is quite absurd, Christmas trees can’t fly.”
You see, only from the mind of a man corrupted by the humor of Monty Python can see the absurdity and humor in all things humanity. Now using your imagination and with tact, what can you add to the UFO sighting?
Come on now, help corrupt me some more.