When readers respond to my insanity, they are enablers of more insanity. I posed a question on Facebook on whether I should go topless at this year’s costume party with my Hottie Scottie costume.
The costume package showed a young, fit and topless man in the costume. Well I am 53 and not in as good a shape as I once was. As a matter of fact I just might even qualify for a training bra. You see when you lift weights as a young man you develop strong firm pectoral muscles. When you get older those pectorals become less, well, less firm. They droop and with a tight shirt on, there is nothing to be left to the imagination. That’s when I have to tell women “Hey, I’m up here!”
Amazingly some of the comments wondered if I was wearing any garment under said skirt. That’s when I replied, “Hey, I’m up here!” Some wondered why I didn’t have a cod piece. For that I replied, “I had a training cod on. Couldn’t you tell?” Geez, I get no respect. Even worse is that not one female friend commented on my little purse, the limp feather in the cap, and my garters around my socks. I accessorized for the event, which was a ballroom dancing / costume party. That night they were teaching the “Salsa.” So this got me thinking about a money making venture. You see I’m a CPA / Financial Advisor and money is always on my mind. So, would you buy the following dance CD’s?
- Scottish Salsa
- Cod Shift Hustle
- The Hottie Scottie Flash Dance
- The Droop and Scoop Twist
- The Hottie Scottie Tease
- William Wallace Waltz
- Cod Piece Can-Can
- Cod Piece Conga
- The Highlander Hokey-Pokey
- Ham in Kilt Limbo
- Short Skirt Shuffle
Now I could go on and on and on. The list is almost limitless. Each DVD with yours truly doing the dancing would make for a great novelty gift and would spice up your costume party (massive alcohol consumption required.) The DVD’s would be rated for adults only with explicit warnings about the psychological damage if children or teens are allowed to view.
Now that I have made a convincing case of why you should own this collection, send me $14.99 and $399 for handling and shipping. Sorry no returns, or liability for damage to eyes, stomach or intestines.
Now it is your turn to respond. What is going to be your costume this year and what dance best describes the costume?