Surviving the Wilderness

As a fantasy author I go on trips to spark the imagination and for research. So on my 53rd birthday I decided to temp fate – to rebel against and resist the power of father time. My ever faithful and fearless son Ryangaard, joined me on this most perilous of journeys. I warned him of the perils and beasts ahead and yet he stood with me to the challenge – his bravery unmatched.

I was determined to climb the deadly and perilous summit of Elk Mountain, Oklahoma. Well not really a mountain, but a rather large hill, void of a shrubbery. It immediately began as a perilous journey fraught with danger as we encountered many beasts and giants. Feast your eyes on the giant colored dragon of the lands. Look real hard – right there – on the rock. Oh, he was vicious! He had large fangs and a mean streak a mile wide. We almost soiled our armor. Yet, at the sight of our bravery the dragon fled, knowing full well defeat would have been his fate.

Now as we climbed higher and higher, the heat swelled and we sweat profusely from the perils still yet to come. There were funnel webbed spiders awaiting us at each rock we encountered. It was told to us by a fellow knight (park ranger) of even more dangerous perils ahead. Venomous and writhing terrors awaited us. Be on alarm for the fangs of western diamond back rattlers and copperheads. But at the sound of our heroic footsteps, they trembled and crawled back into the darkness of the underworld. The undaunted heroes forged on.

As we neared the summit we had endured much peril as our Gatorade and snack supply grew thin. We stood upon the brink. Below us, the gap of the Wichita wilderness stood open before our eyes. We had made it! We had cheated death before lunchtime.

But at the summit, the two heroes faced the giants of the lands. They did not surrender their hold on the lands without a fight. We clashed with the mighty titans and hewn their mighty heads and lay them there for all followers of histories legends to know of our perilous journey and brave deeds. See their heads? Right there, see those round skulls? You can even see the anguish on the face of the titan on the far right. Oh, how brave we were – Ryangaard and me!

Finally, we shared the last of our sustenance (Gatorade) and sang a conquerors ode to the end of our perils.

“The hills are alive with the sound of absurdity! They shall sing of our perils for a thousand years!”

Oh, let’s not go there again. For it is such a silly place!

This entry was posted in Humor.

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