Man Club – July Edition Alpha Females

I have scientific proof that women are in fact wolves – in women’s bodies. Read here for context. Now, in additional research, I found 6 signs you are dating an alpha female:

#1 She is demanding. Well, that was a hard one to discover! I guess they really are all alpha females.

#2 She is sarcastic and condescending to you. Wow – what Einstein was paid for this research!

#3 She insists on paying her share of the bill. Well, for that one, I can be a submitting chihuahua.

#4 Her non-verbal communication is evident. There is no confusion when the middle finger is present. Tapping fingers and feet, burning stares, quivering lips and flush red skin are also a dead nonverbal give away.

#5 She invites the pack over. This is called a “girls night out”, but in reality it is an offensive strategic planning session on the methods to dominate the world and all men chihuahua’s. This is your clue to call an emergency meeting of the Man Club. Get out while you’re still alive!

#6 A chunk of your hiney is missing. This is caused when you misread another pack member’s body language and stare a little too long.

This is why the Man Club officially adopted the Life Continuity Plan and promulgated regulations in our codification. It took months to develop and here it is.

Rule 1 – when the alpha woman growls, take refuge at the man cave.

I told you we men were simple! Address a problem, solve it, done. It’s why the Man Club has record membership renewals.


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