What was I thinking?

When you are a teenage male, you think you are invincible. I recall a time when several of my friends came over to watch “The Exorcist.” Now as long as you have a small army with you, it’s not so frightening to watch. As a matter of fact, you joke throughout the movie. It’s our defensive mechanism. But you miss some of the details and decide to go back and watch it alone-even with family gone and all the lights turned off. What was I thinking? This is when I questioned my own ability to think logically and rationally.

Now I know special effects today are far superior, but back then it was cutting edge art. This is when I realized I was scared to death and needed no assistance from Ex-Lax. Holy cow! For some, this movie is not scary, especially for atheists, who have no fear of demons and the ethereal world. For those who have even a slight amount of faith, this is one of the scariest predicaments a person could find themselves in…to be possessed and have no control over your actions. This movie had me awake at night for a solid month, listening at every creak in and outside the house. I peered over my covers at the gray shadows on the wall. The whispering of the wind tells your brain that a voice is nearby. You find yourself an unmovable stone, sweating and your heart on the verge of bursting with fright. My greatest fear is from the forces I cannot see and cannot defend against.

I was in a tornado in 1986 which struck at dusk. I was alone with my 2-year old son. You could hear the tornado but you could not see it. Luckily the tornado landed two tenths of a mile away, but it sounded as though it was just outside my door.

In 1979, I went to see the highly anticipated “Alien.” Now this is the second scariest movie I’ve ever seen. But, unlike demonic possession, you can see and can defeat the alien organism. This gives hope.

My point is that authors use their own fears or the fears of others to connect with you in their stories. In my trilogy, “The Chosen One of Allivar”, demons and demonic possession are part of the plot of evil’s quest. The ethereal is less frightening until it is exposed for all to see. Then we wish we could just close our eyes and hope it goes back to where it came from. In the end, the unleashing of all evil, mortal and immortal, is so great a force, the thought of victory is dashed by hopelessness. So, from my past experience, I thought I’d use my own fears and try to scare the bodily fluids out of you.

I am sorry if I keep you awake.


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