OMG, Alcohol and Electric Carts

Now let me say this – I very rarely ever drink and play golf at the same time. But on several occasions I have had a beer, or two, or three. Okay, okay it is more like, and sing along with me “99 bottles of beer in the cart, 99 bottles of beer, slam one down, knock a squirrel down, 98 bottles of beer in the cart.” Luckily there is no DWI with an electric cart, but the course marshal can eject you. But as my 9-iron and Big Bertha driver have proved, an electric cart increases the odds you will not survive a golf date with me.

Now I am not as bad as some stories I have heard, whether they may be true or not. An oilfield executive in the 80’s told me while golfing in California he forgot to put the brakes on his golf cart and then watched it roll off into the Pacific. I have personally witnessed a guy roll his cart over and onto himself. Now I don’t know if it was just my proximity to him that caused this, but I plead the 5th. All I have done is to slam the cart into a tree, one outhouse and ran over a partner’s foot, and no not my dad this time. He has become much smarter while golfing with me over the last 40 years and refuses to let me touch the cart’s steering wheel.

Now I do not need to be intoxicated to suck at golf, I can do that with perfection completely sober.


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