#Chicklit beats down #Guylit (Man Club Twitter Etiquette)

When I first saw the Twitter hashtag #Chicklit, I immediately thought of a gum that is produced in Mexico. Naturally, I wanted to know what all the comments would be about this Mexican gum. I immediately discovered I was outnumbered a bazillion to one by women. What kind of gum is only made for women? Is there a secret ingredient? Am I about to break another secret of the Female Code? Well after the dawn of a new day I came to the realization this was about Chick Literature. So I have decided to follow for awhile to learn more of the “Code.” Women bleed their souls just about anywhere, so why would Twitter be any different? Have you noticed, all I have are questions and no answers? Welcome to the Code #Guylits.

The sad thing is there is no #Guylits. We are way more subtle in our approach. We men hashtag discretely with #Beer, #Football, or #Sex and not necessarily in that order. #Guylits read only technical books – like how to hook up the XBOX360, the 60″ LED HDTV to the BLU-RAY and surround sound and our electric guitars. As a matter of fact, not one of my guy friends is ever going to read this blog. They certainly are not going to comment for if they did their loving #Chicklit would turn into the #ChickShapeShiftingShadowOfHorror and #ChickHit the #ChickChickenStuffing out of you. This could happen even if they see their man (slave) looking at this blog. Come on guys, get your William Wallace Braveheart on! Stand up and be heard here and on Twitter.

I’ll even be the one to start the #Guylit chat session. Today’s topic is #Guylit. “How about that ‘Gears of War’ game?” #CricketsChirping. Okay, how about this one – #Pictures of #MeganFox in #Bikini. Guaranteed to get me a bazillion followers in 30 seconds. However, there would be #Chicklit infiltrators to the session, with new tweets coming in like “@BobSmith I know that’s you looking at those photos. When I get home this #Chicklit is going to #ChickHit the #ChickChickenStuffing out of you.” Now technically that is over 140 characters, but somehow #Chicklits have found a #loophole in the Code.

It’s all about understanding your target market. If we guys typed in #Love #Romance or #Snuggle in any Tweet, you guessed it, #CricketsChirping or #SnoringBoring. If I did, #Chicklits would respond #Awwwwww #Snuggle #Romance and I’d lose all credibility as a #Man. But if you decide to cross the line and dare enter the realm of the #Chicklit don’t say I didn’t warn you if tonight you get a message on your smart phone, sorry #ing #Headache #GoodNight. Why are we men #ing our ourselves with #Torture?

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This entry was posted in Humor.

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